|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random |
#44206 (229/361) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[WhipSmart] how has humanity lasted this long..?
[Mordenkainen] because sharks can't walkComment: Quakenet #funchat
|
#145733 (245/365) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chutwig> there's something about college that dramatically increases detachment from reality
<Luigi30> chutwig: pot? |
#17405 (29/237) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Blade> what's for supper my beautiful wife?
<Blade> you on a silver platter?
<Blade> CPU: AMD Athlon Thunderbird clocked at 1453.26 MHz
<Blade> OS: Microsoft Windows 98 Second Edition [4.10.2222]
<Blade> RAM: 257MB / 512MB <29% load>
<Blade> Video: NVIDIA GeForce2 MX/MX 400 (1024x768x16 bits) <63MB/64MB video RAM>
<Blade> Sound: SB Live! Wave Device (Driver Version: 5.0) [Stereo]
<Blade> Network Interfaces: NDIS 5.0 driver (Ethernet) <10000000 bps> [5.4 MB received / 0.3 MB sent]
<Blade> Disk: a:\ ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB....c:\ (WINDOZE)[FAT32]: 4.4GB/4.9GB....d:\ (BUZINESS)[FAT32]: 12.4GB/12.6GB....e:\ (PLEAZURE)[FAT32]: 22.0GB/23.7GB....f:\ ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB
<Blade> Uptime: 0 days, 1 hrs, 2 mins, 3 secs
<SK> what a great prelude to sex.
<SK> system information. |
#11708 (169/371) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Nighters> I've decided that if i'm not happy when i'm 40 i'm going to kill 2-3 people who are like 18-19 with BRIGHT ASS FUTURES |
#30938 (362/532) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Caffeine> i was dared to go buy lube
<Caffeine> so i went with my best friend/housemate and talked about double ended dildos while hugging her in the checkout line with ky in my hand
<Caffeine> the cashier asked me 'how was your day'
<Caffeine> i said 'it will be better once i get this hunny home'
<Caffeine> her jaw droppedComment: Caffeine is female.
|
#7783 (109/268) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<u238|duhasst> pdf's suck for reading on the toilet |
#206512 (4/306) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zaapiel> mplayer palestinian_girls_go_jihad_on_jewish_cock.avi
<zaapiel> doh wrong term |
#6204 (73/232) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<felix:#916> there is a DEAD FUCKING RAT in our server room
<felix:#916> it's like, ROTTING
<felix:#916> STUCK UNDER A CABINET AND NOBODY CAN GET TO IT
<felix:#916> 8 or 9" long, overall
<asphyxia:#916> damn packet kiddies |
#52996 (106/228) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Zot: Fascinating shit.
Zot: Did you know that male spiders, instead of
copulating with females, will place their sperm on a
web, dip their jaw appendages into it, and then stick
their jaws into the female's vaginal opening?
Zot: I can't wait to use that as a pick-up line.
Zot: :)
Jillness: omg
Jillness: lol
Jillness: Im so gonna borrow that
Zot: It's not a facial; it's spidersex! |
#26371 (248/474) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best" |
#52958 (135/269) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Junithorn> Well, I've come to the realization that America really needs to convert to metric..
<Junithorn> I was down in NY visiting a friend and we decide to drive back up to Canada
<Junithorn> So ok, driving along the highway in the US, 60 MPH whatever, 80 MPH... and then we cross the border and he sees the sign, but doesnt see the KMH... 120.
<Junithorn> I didn't even think his car went that fast
< |
#211206 (522/788) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Hxdor> k so
<Hxdor> i go and wake up and decide to wack one off..
<Hxdor> so my dad comes RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
<Hxdor> "OMG SOMEONES HACKING MY EMAIL"
<Hxdor> and
<Hxdor> "ARE YOU DOING IT?!"
<Hxdor> im like ".......oh. fuck."
<Hxdor> and i said "... dad, could you please go upstairs and wait anohter 2 mins please?"
<Hxdor> "are you hacking my email"
<Hxdor> and finally I said
<Hxdor> "dad, I'm jerking off here. how do you fucking expect me to hack your email while I watch porno and have my dick in one hand"
<Hxdor> he leaves |
#16776 (134/296) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pepsi> A Smith and Wesson beats four Aces.
<Tjousk> only if it's loaded |
#2034 (84/264) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Brentai> ...you guys realize that this is the least I've ever laughed. I'm anti-laughing.
<FoxieMoxie> You're anti-laughing? Good, I hope your lungs implode then. |
#10913 (32/220) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Random> Actually, I'm not the devil. I'm an interested third-party broker. Unfortunately, not being the devil, I can't change the size of your ass. |
#15024 (100/247) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<river> actually...i don't think there are many levels of monogamy
<river> it's a boolean thing |
#246702 (80/160) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<w00bi> wait question
<w00bi> if you dont masturbate, dont you have a wet dream?
<sash> i assume
<Drunken_irishman> i wouldnt know
<w00bi> I've never had a wet dream
<doubledown> i wouldnt know
<sba> no idea |
#55857 (184/370) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
digmikey: the longest i had sex was 1 hour 10second. but was the day we set the clocks ahead. |
#281474 (334/432) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Loser> what will happen when I tell my parents I'm bi>
<GaidinBDJ> You mother looks at your father and says "You owe me $100"Comment: #fark
|
#33659 (141/341) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pischk> im infected with something nasty dont accept anything from me
<Brisby> Pischk: How about money?
<DJ_Elfen> not even cash?
<Hurtful_Wolf> what about money?Comment: a quick set of responses...
|
#25552 (163/377) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<saint_> i should masturbate
<saint_> but like
<saint_> my sister lives with me
<Agent_069> hahaha
<Agent_069> who needs masturbation when you have a sister? :P |
#35875 (196/376) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mog> oops
<mog> in jeopardy, it was like crossword clues D
<mog> or something
<ocean2> what on earth are you talking about
<mog> it was "This anonymous source helped to bring down the Nixon Administration"
<mog> it was deep throat
<mog> but I yelled out Blow Job accidentally
<mog> in front of my mom and sister
<mog> :/
<mog> my mom kicked me off the couch, haha |
#2496 (220/376) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Carisear> Ever since i put the "Tires by Firestone" bumper sticker on my car, no one seems to tailgate me anymore. |
#36758 (95/197) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ankleteeth> i cant believe people are still here...
<ankleteeth> what keeps you people amongst this crowd?
<FennecFoxen> eh? an old autojoin which I removed in February...
<FennecFoxen> then my system was reset to an image made in January.
<FennecFoxen> So.
<FennecFoxen> :) |
#16300 (1/274) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BoZZ> my thing don't work...
<[TX]-KnacK_WerK> well at least ur not married... |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
|
|