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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..28293031323334..596Next> |
#307804 (53/77) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@timmo> i have found that smartphones have kept me from drunk texting ugly girls
<@timmo> due to their face popping up in every text |
#303832 (62/88) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kage> man remember when musicians got by on their own vocal talent rather than a digital voice filter
<ixisid> no i was born in the 80s |
#300422 (94/116) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rorschach> It is my belief that the Linux community may be defined, as a whole, as a virus. Its collective users will do everything to aid the spread of their half-baked OS but will do nothing to resolve the problems or fix them even in the worst of scenarios. The average zealot has one thing on their mind: infect.
<&Homicide> We are a cult, not a virus.
<&Homicide> QED.
<&Homicide> We recruit the ignorant masses who are disillusioned with their truths, who seek a better way.
<&Homicide> We lure them in with promises, with system stability.
<&Homicide> Once they have decided to try it,
<&Homicide> They are neck deep in a bash shell.
<&Homicide> They will fight, nay *crusade*, to fix their problems.
<&Homicide> Before they know it, the sense of accomplishment sets in.
<&Homicide> "That was difficult, but unlike windows, it can be fixed!"
<&Homicide> This is what they will say.
<&Homicide> Then they will try to use wireless internet.
<&Homicide> And the circle will be complete |
#295307 (67/93) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Francis: Someday, I'm going to rule the internet with an iron fist
Duo: not with a name like Francis.
Duo: more like a delicately manicured, leather-gloved hand
StoneCypher: lightly perfumed
Duo: and lotioned. |
#309398 (75/83) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< BronzeEagle> I just found a floppy disk in my desk that says "women = evil"
< Frostypants> :D
< o11c> you still have a floppy drive, and were patient enough to put it in?
< BronzeEagle> Negative and negative
< o11c> then how did you know what it says?
< BronzeEagle> It's written on the label
* o11c forgets sometimes that there is a physical layer |
#308591 (32/78) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<peacetwin> i'm going to start an official political organization for masculine gay men
<Wooshey_> The Republican Party?Comment: #gaymers @ irc.rizon.net
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#307840 (57/111) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@X-LP> woowee i think i have a fever
<Jigsy> Is it Bieber fever?
<Jigsy> 'cause that can be pretty fatal.
* Jigsy loads the gun. |
#307388 (65/91) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<clueless> remember when I said we'd have a government soon? well the negotiations just blew up this weekend
<horm> so no government for another 500 days?
<horm> did the prime minister not see his shadow? |
#306617 (74/90) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Malice> Did I tell you Velox is back home?
<+ark0n> no way sweet
<@Malice> After five years in the deserts of the Middle East, our mother thought he'd want to relax.
<@Malice> So she took him to the beach. |
#304840 (46/74) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Flickerdart> I went to an art show that my friend had a thing at
<Flickerdart> And there was a shark made of d10s
<Flickerdart> Which was like, fuck yeah
<Fax> that's awesome
<lolfighter> Why d10s!
<lolfighter> Why not pick a platonic solid!
<Flickerdart> Maybe they tessellate better than d20s?
<lolfighter> Maybe.
<lolfighter> And maybe d6s are too mundane.
<Fax> because platonic shapes
<Fax> !shades
<Fax> are for squares
<Rhona_d`Cannith> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! |
#302362 (23/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<fahadsadah> Note to self: do not code when tired
<fahadsadah> Guess what was in my code?
<fahadsadah> Rather than #!/usr/bin/ruby at the top
<fahadsadah> print "#!/usr/bin/ruby\n" |
#305955 (52/124) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< Ifrit> In a way I find it insulting
< Ifrit> If someone doesn't take the time to write full words while conversing with me, I find it disrespectful
< Ifrit> and respect them less
< Wabbit98> wtf |
#310231 (138/152) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Maidenhelos> There are few times in life when "Oh shit" is more appropriate than when you accidentally find the septic tank by falling into it...
Maidenhelos> On a completely "unrelated" note guess what I did today |
#309841 (26/64) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< j0h> Ive been drunk for nearly 2 weeks but jrvc might have a problem.
<@LinearInterpol> j0h: that's called being a system administrator. |
#309714 (154/180) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<bizzy> i just made an ec2 ami of android gingerbread
<bizzy> now i can run my telephone in the cloud
<bizzy> its a new world of mobile data and adaptive architecture as code
<danh> i think you're joking but im not sure
<bizzy> my saas-model android will disrupt the existing mobile space
<bizzy> simply access your telephone over any standard web browser (including mobile)
<bizzy> now you can make calls even on the go right from your smartphone |
#306428 (10/96) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< nukes> damn, almost beat my best time on minesweeper
< nukes> only to be fucked over by a guess
< nukes> was the last two, and it could have been either
< nukes> nearly beat it by a fair margin as well, 90 seconds on expert
< nukes> compared to 2 mins
< iFarmer> Meh, was never any good at minesweeper
< iFarmer> Only recently found out what the numbers mean |
#302397 (68/94) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DOZ> they're doing heat jokes man
<DOZ> that's not cool
<LS> I have absolute zero tolerance for those |
#297065 (72/124) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Josh: it's amazing that people don't simply think "apostrophe's replace missing letters in a contraction" and use them correctly
Mike: ...please tell me that was intentional and sarcastic
Mike: because otherwise it's going in quotes.txt. and nothing ever gets removed from quotes.txt |
#309577 (628/662) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Caboose> Mango, you're a programmer, right?
<Mango> Depends. If you're asking because you're curious, yes, I've been a programmer for most of my career.
<Mango> If you're asking because you installed 5000 toolbars and now your computer "runs kinda slow", I work at Starbucks. |
#307675 (114/170) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kokoretsi>downloaded a 1925 film and spent 5 minutes looking for subs. I then realise it's a silent film :| |
#307475 (95/181) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ReinDigga> it was awesome, i was walking to the station at half 8 this morning
<ReinDigga> and i heard from behind me "hey, HEY, HELLLOOOOOO?"
<ReinDigga> so i turn round
<ReinDigga> and there's a man dressed fairly well, and he lifts his hand, and calls "would you like some of my spliff?"
<ReinDigga> what a nice guy |
#304869 (-6/126) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tec> The Delta was the most successful Group B car ever made.
<Tec> Though I'd still give a kidney (probably someone else's) for a Sport Quattro. Thing would outdo a Veyron on any surface other than dry tarmac.
<AkumaWolf> lol
<AkumaWolf> I would want the Veyron... only to put a vinyl of the Goatse guy on the underside of the spoiler, then retract it... then when another M3 asshole harasses me on the N1... I'll just pop out the spoiler and BOOM!... goatse :P
<AkumaWolf> in.. yo... faaaace!
<Tec> Pft.Comment: #twokinds
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#306822 (218/244) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CrazyRussian> I just finished Leisure Suit Larry 1 (again)
<CrazyRussian> It's amazing how much easier this game is when you speak English |
#306129 (124/152) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<HunterX11> and apparently amazon.com sells sex toys
<HunterX11> including "used and new" prices |
#305776 (168/200) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Jorfs (Jorfs@9BEA575.2F81F144.8DE8CFAD.IP) has joined #britfa.gs
<Jorfs> Shit how do i chat up this hot redhead?
<music> okc?
<Jorfs> Nah im at a bar
<music> so let me get this straight
<music> you're at a bar
<music> and you're trying to chat a girl up
<music> but you don't know what to do, so you come on irc?
<Jorfs> Yes
<Jorfs> Why are they all laughing at me now?
<music> hahah |
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