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#310229 (74/88) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< wushin> your art is very good
< bagzie> I hate it more and more each day
< wushin> that just means you're an artist |
#309662 (84/100) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<b2coutts> so apparently, when your laptop doesn't boot any more, the solution is to boot into your arch live ISO, look at your partitions, and reboot
<jj2baile> observation causes a change in the system!
<sharvey> clearly you have quantum linux |
#309908 (137/165) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sebas> When I have a kid, on his eleventh birthday, I will arrange for a trained owl to deliver a letter to them. They will break the wax seal with a trembling hand, open the hand-crafted parchment, and read the words inscribed therein with a fine ink and an eagle quill:
<Sebas> "Magic isn't real, dumbass."
<Milori> 'ur adopted'
<Milori> this owl will now self-destruct in 5... |
#305744 (449/557) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Palantyre> in the Finnish wikipedia article on Amputation: "This article is a stub."
<Palantyre> Fantastic. |
#150317 (697/873) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Neko: how long has it been since i've seen you?
Rawr: since December 9th
Neko: dammit i wanted you to do the math and tell me how many weeks
Rawr: three weeks, three days?
Neko: oh good thank you
Rawr: why, is someone asking you?
Neko: no
Neko: i was bleeding then, and i need to keep track of when i need to buy more tampons
Rawr: ...
Rawr: you are the least romantic person EVER |
#74528 (623/777) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ETJ> Okay.
ETJ> My sister is going to be the worst driver ever
ETJ> She was apparently in the parking lot of a church I used to go to practicing.
ETJ> HUge as hell parking lot, completely deserted except for one bus.
Ariana> she hit the bus?
ETJ> She not only crashes into the bus, but crashes into it backing up at 7MPH
Ariana> did she drive away?
ETJ> That's the kicker.
Kyle> ...
ETJ> She freaked out, and stepped on the gas.
ETJ> ...While still in reverse. |
#54696 (633/791) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<joe`> I got overpaid $150 two weeks ago, i decided not to say anything
<joe`> now last week they UNDERPAID me $150, so I went to my manager to tell him to put it right and he comes out with "you didn't tell us when we overpaid you, did you"?
<joe`> I told him "I'll tolerate one mistake, but not two!" |
#56166 (355/439) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Darien> I love my job
<Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
<Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
<Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
<Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.' |
#65042 (524/652) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<stu14> Does Australia float around or is it stuck there
<Tom65789> Are you serious?Comment: irc.gg-center.net
|
#37057 (406/504) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably early
<cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback by
<cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said, without thinking, "that's what all the girls say"
<cow_crap> I am such a fucking idiot
<cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins |
#159367 (550/686) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SgnaTriste> I used to give the entries in my Thunderbird address book nicknames like "smartass", "deadhead" or "nincompoop" until I noticed that they're sent along in the TO-header. |
#301332 (752/942) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
SoccerGirl114: Today, I was having sex with this guy at a party when out of no where he yells at the top of his lungs, "mortal kombat!".
SoccerGirl114: His friends yelled back, "finish her!" |
#206039 (7320/9316) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kidsune> Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but i'm gonna go down on you...
<Kidsune> And you're gonna love it...
<Kidsune> But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it...
<Kidsune> Then i'm gonna come back up again and fuck you, big time...
<Kidsune> Lots of love,
<Kidsune> Fuel Prices |
#302651 (129/159) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ryan22> have you guys looked into getting a bug tracker. i recommend github or launchpad
<terinjokes> Bug #1 Unable to kick ryan22 [Status: Open] [Priority: Low]
<ryan22> heh
<BHSPitMonkey> Bug #1 status has changed: Assigned to Kaatje
* Kaatje has kicked ryan22 from #iphonelinux-dev (Kaatje)
<Kaatje> Bug #1 status has changed: Completed |
#303986 (131/159) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Speaking of terrible and complaining, I celebrated my first time on the wii in about a year and a half by heavily and painfully crushing my thumb between the wiimote and the couch.
<Digga> how does that even happen
<Sebas> Stupidly.
<Logopolis> You silly dutch.
<Sebas> I went "This bowling is too easy, I shall do it with my back towards the TV and my eyes closed and at a distance."
<Sebas> The rest, as they say, is history.
<Sebas> I did throw a strike though, further proving my initial point. |
#309095 (117/141) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nicks> you are going to invent a new microblogging platform
<nicks> where you can only send 20 characters per message
<Haz> twitter lets you get too complete of thoughts through you've got to really condense it to get the core of the message
<||bass> 20 bytes
<||bass> and it's all 32bit unicode
<||bass> and null terminated
<||bass> which gives us 4 characters
<||bass> so pretty much limits you to short sentences in chinese
<nicks> I can communicate a lot with four characters
<nicks> damn
<nicks> crap
<nicks> fuck
<nicks> shit
<nicks> piss
<||bass> dude
<||bass> stop |
#30518 (549/685) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kristy> i remember new years eve, 2000, everyone had their computers off because they were afraid they would blow up cause of y2k, and my boyfriend was begging me to have sex with him. and i was like "look at my ping! i am not going to get a 70 ping any other night! go watch tv and stop interrupting my tribes!!" |
#30305 (627/785) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<`Frieza> dont you get it! I have a giant Brain that is capable of reduceing anything down to a yes or no question.
<bUdDyLeE> LOL `Frieza I don't think that's how it's supposed to work
<bUdDyLeE> watch
<bUdDyLeE> What is the meaning of life?
<`Frieza> yes
<bUdDyLeE> elaborate
<`Frieza> no
<bUdDyLeE> fair enough. |
#39214 (458/572) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<The_GGA> But ninjas never lose a fight. They just don't.
<desplesda> what if you've got two teams of ninjas fighting each other? who wins then?
<The_GGA> The ninjas.
<desplesda> you make a good point |
#105688 (566/708) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<QBeep> Reminds me of one of my fevorite moments...
<QBeep> I've just finished changing a tire that went flat on the way to delivering a pizza. I'm covered in mud, grease, and black tire grime.
<QBeep> My right hand is bleeding, my face is smudged.
<chillin_work> attractive
<QBeep> I'm standing on this customer's porch, with a pizza that was ordered from the Pizza Hut web site. The customer opens the door, and what falls out of my mouth is,
<QBeep> "Hi, ma'am, I'm from the Internet"... |
#303089 (499/625) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/ |
#310225 (82/98) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Proview> holy shit i'm tired of doing people's programming homework
<Proview> every fucking day its something new
<Proview> what happened to people who genuinely wanted to learn
<Proview> and try and figure it out
<GargajCNS> Proview: those people made successful projects and now the people whose homework you're doing want in on the cake
<GargajCNS> nerd kid goes to school, gets made fun of, people think he's an idiot, creates company, cashes millions, people still think he's an idiot but hey he made millions so that whole progurming stuff cant be that hard right?
<GargajCNS> and voila
<GargajCNS> app store. |
#246896 (287/355) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@ben> i've annoyed finance by putting 'sysadmin food' instead of 'Domino's Pizza' on my expenses form |
#280190 (608/764) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
cached: you think it's a bad sign if a memory test says that the number of errors was -8? |
#310308 (98/118) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@swight> Ikea Bags Stuffed With Skeletons Found in Sweden
<@swight> good luck putting them back together |
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