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#141262 (706/906) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CoolCookieCooks> when i was a child i thought being disabled was another gender because they had seperate toilets. |
#304514 (337/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@nukespoon> okay so a bit of a crisis
<@nukespoon> the project folder for this program is called "cuntbollocks"
<@nukespoon> i have to upload this in 15 minutes
<@nukespoon> and i don't know how to rename it without fucking shit up |
#305270 (439/559) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
11-Jan-2011 <Lefty> Nugget: do you remember a game that involved a soccer ball bouncing down platforms in space for the Atari ST?
11-Jan-2011 <Nugget> we've had this disucssion before.
11-Jan-2011 <thumper^> Bring out the logs!
11-Jan-2011 <Lefty> I don't think I ever did find out the name of that game
11-Jan-2011 <Nugget> 08-Dec-2004 12:50 <LeftyWork> Do you guys remember an atari ST game that involved playing a soccerball that had to bounce on coloured tiles in space?
11-Jan-2011 <Nugget> 08-Dec-2004 12:58 <Nugget> TrailBlazer
11-Jan-2011 <Nugget> 08-Dec-2004 13:00 * LeftyWork hugs Nugget
11-Jan-2011 * Lefty hugs Nugget |
#164080 (574/734) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stueh> Well I think the turning point in our relationship was when I said something weird (as a joke) and kinda freaked her out
<DamnedPixie> and that was?
<Stueh> Well we were having sex
<Stueh> And I wanted to say something for a laugh
<Stueh> So I was like "I wish I were you right now." |
#176290 (211/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Tiberius> i get my women the same way a lion gets his prey
<+int16h> Stalking them?
<Ves> idiots who fall in the cage? |
#307605 (97/119) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Klima> Well
<%Klima> Holland seems like a weird country
<%Klima> I've been there once
<%Klima> To Amsterdam
<%Klima> and we slept on a boatel, a boat that is a hotel
<%Klima> That's weird
<%Klima> And people live in shipping containers turned into apartments
<%Klima> that's weird
<%Klima> We tried to take a boat to Amsterdam, and a small car with 3 wheels comes on it, with a DJ blasting techno music all the time
<%Klima> A live DJ, on the back of a small car
<%Klima> blasting techno music on a public boat, with a thousand people on it
<%Klima> and no one complained, they liked the music
<%Klima> the dj was half naked
<%Klima> that was weird
<%Klima> So we get to the red light district, and this was at around 10 o' clock in the morning, and it just STANK
<%Klima> Man
<%Klima> that smell was horrid
<%Klima> It just smelled of semen and poo
<%Klima> so that was weird
<%Klima> We get to a small street where on one side, there are window hookers
<%Klima> on the other side
<%Klima> there's a fucking KINDERGARDEN
<%Klima> Amsterdam is just the weirdest place I've ever been |
#209693 (543/695) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shidobu> oh god, I feel like I'm in elementary school
<shidobu> the building management just informed us that there's going to be a firedrill on friday morning
<shidobu> and in exchange for our cooperation, there will be icecream waiting outside the building
<rumblerob> if all your coworkers have perfect attendance do they get a pizza party?
<shidobu> I can only hope |
#74242 (568/726) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Captiivus: Dude, I'm going to hell.
Derek: why
Captiivus: We were talking in class about this homeless family some kids are donating to for christmas and shit
Captiivus: and one student commented that their little boy wanted legos for christmas
Captiivus: I say, "What's he going to do with legos, build a house?"
Captiivus: Dead silence. |
#51739 (528/678) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Clo Poud: my dad
Clo Poud: is pressuring me into buying a car
Rodri316: Clo Poud
Rodri316: Keep your dad's volume constant
Rodri316: and lower his body temperature
Clo Poud: rodri
Clo Poud: what the FUCK
Clo Poud: are you even TALKING ABOUT
Rodri316: according to Gay-Lussac's law, his pressure should decrease |
#54322 (472/604) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stereo``> you know
<Stereo``> maybe the statistics faculty is not the best group of people to play poker withComment: #geekissues
|
#8814 (479/613) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you. |
#311620 (48/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dysk> "Target is bleeping out book descriptions, removing words like 'Nazis' and 'queer'"
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> I love overzealous auto-censors.
<dysk> That old joke about **** van **** just continues to stay relevant, doesn't it.
<YelseyKing> Yes.
<YelseyKing> Penis van Lesbian.
<dysk> Except in Target's case, "penis" and "lesbian" would be censored.
<dysk> I mean, one of the censored words was "stripper".
<dysk> Which isn't always about nude performance. Sometimes it's used for a tool (lol tool) that forestry workers use to remove the bark from wood.
<YelseyKing> t**l
<YelseyKing> I totally understand the reason why sites would do that, given that anyone who'd be so easily offended by certain words would be the same ones to throw a huge fit over seeing them.
<YelseyKing> But it doesn't make it any less stupid.
<YelseyKing> My favorite thing is when they censor a word with only a single asterisk. F*ck!
<YelseyKing> Like you can't tell what that says.
<dysk> "Holy sh*t!"
<dysk> And, of course, let's not forget ***an.
<Danika> Satan?
<dysk> (a certain country in East Asia)
<Danika> oh, Japan
<YelseyKing> The best censors are the ones that ignore spaces and punctuation, so you'll get words you didn't even type censored.
<YelseyKing> Like "cut it out" will be censored, because it ignores the space and sees "tit".
<dysk> Or "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey's hit", and the final four letters would be censored.
<YelseyKing> Yup.
<YelseyKing> Even better is if they're not censored, but replaced.
<YelseyKing> "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey'fecal matter" |
#301376 (505/649) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<slashproc> Oh, I was thinking AOL 9.1
<slashproc> ever run into anyone actually using it?
<argosy> Yes. Then I backed up and ran over them again.Comment: #css on Efnet
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#310025 (98/120) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SpaceWizard> 2 + 2 = FISH!
<AaronBallman> oh, fish....
<AaronBallman> so in a past life
<AaronBallman> a few past lives ago
<AaronBallman> we had a customer send us a bug report
<AaronBallman> which included his source code. He asked us very kindly not to distribute the source code, yada yada, since it was his bread and butter
<AaronBallman> so we're looking through it, trying to repro his issue (he didn't reduce his test case at all)
<AaronBallman> and we noticed a function called decryptPassword or something along those lines, so we checked it out.
<SpaceWizard> oh boy.
<AaronBallman> in his function there was a comment, and some code, which verified that the password was not "fish" because for whatever reason, that totally broke his "encryption" scheme
<AaronBallman> Nope: // The password cannot be fish |
#142667 (1379/1789) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Turra> the 5th element is awesome
<Kar> Boron?Comment: #TGi
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#224012 (616/790) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<psypete> ok, so i have a question
<psypete> fellow geohashers
<psypete> is there any prize or accomplishment for geohashing in a hurricane?
<joannac|reallyAsleep> a darwin award |
#307612 (277/351) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Schrodinger has joined #chat
<Remus> How's your cat, Schrodinger
<Schrodinger> I'm not too sure.
<Schrodinger> I'm afraid to check. |
#306189 (386/492) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Mehcore> I want a band called 1023MB
<%Mehcore> We'd never get a gig though |
#297561 (419/537) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ProtoTom> WTF's a woofer?
<Jizzle> It's a special speaker reserved for making "woof" sounds in some songs
<Jizzle> WHO LET THE DOGS OUT for instance
<ProtoTom> seriously?
<MACROX> yeah...the runtime complexity of producing that sound was way to high
<MACROX> so they implemented it in harware |
#303250 (192/242) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ardchoille> How can some of these employees NOT slap the shite out of people???
<ardchoille> See, I couldn't work in retail.. I'd end up on assault charges
<steveb> its not that bad
<steveb> you just have to switch your brain off
<ardchoille> Oh, like the customers do?
<steveb> most of them dont have an on switch |
#309120 (146/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<chernobyl> Last night, Chewbacca and I were having a conversation in my billion dollar mansion about how much we hate people who lie on the Internet...
<mabus> well there's lying, and then there's exaggerating about your wife and apartment |
#309106 (74/90) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zirak> So, I began to install Arch Linux. Had some problem with the booting device, but it happened before, no biggie.
<Zirak> Fixing that problem made a bigger problem. Which made a bigger problem.
<Zirak> Eventually, arch told me "Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck."
<Zirak> Followed by a kernel panic |
#253988 (591/761) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fox> oh yeah, mr little brother got in trouble at his college today, it was pretty funny
<Fox> the first day of a huge lab class and the teacher was trying to introduce himself and be friendly with everyone, and asked "Are there any stories you'd like me to tell about myself?"
<Fox> and my brother wasn't paying attention and half asleep so he said out loud what he was thinking at the time, what he meant to say to himself as a joke
<Fox> "Tell us about the first time you masturbated"
<Fox> he said the teacher turned bleach white, and the girls in the class turned red, the rest were laughing |
#146700 (1639/2133) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tigerlilley> Well, this isn't a full sex story but it was still pretty embarrasing:
<Tigerlilley> I'd just gotten out of the shower, and walked into the kitchen to grab a drink. Theonly thing in there was milk.
<Tigerlilley> Because I am retarded
<Tigerlilley> I spilt it all over myself
<Tigerlilley> So I'm in my underwear, white stuff all over my chin, neck and chest
<Tigerlilley> and my flatmate walks in
<Tigerlilley> looks at me
<Tigerlilley> and says
<Tigerlilley> "goddamn thats some scary de ja vu"
<Tigerlilley> :( |
#246970 (349/445) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zach[w]> You know, I really think the phrase "Wookiees can load their bowcasters with both standard and explosive-tipped quarrels.[citation needed]" is a perfect description of Wikipedia. |
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