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#310864 (63/77) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Raven> Is it still Passover?
<Kyol> Is Jesus still dead?
<Morwen> No Kyol, thats what Easter was all about.
<Kyol> Ah. So let me see. He gets nailed to a tree on Good Friday, spends a few days in a cave, comes out on Easter.. Then what?
<hockwork> if he sees his shadow, its another 6 weeks of winter |
#310861 (31/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jacquilyn> Eh. Being kicked out of the lab.
<Agent_Orange> wear pants next time. They like that
<Leth> agt: but the sign only reads "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service." Pants aren't ever mentioned
<Agent_Orange> leth: I've tried that argument many times and it *usually* ends in bitter disappointment |
#301119 (503/649) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
xoebus: *sigh* One of my flatmates just asked "Where is Admiral Ackbar from?", I replied "Mon Calamari". He then said "No which series, Star Trek or Star Wars or something else; you fucking geek."
xoebus: I feel loved.Comment: #inf2, irc.imaginarynet.org.uk
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#310495 (40/50) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<apo_> My parents wanted to see how well google now (that android voice recognition thing) worked, so I told it to show me pictures of Nussschnecken (some nutty pastry), and it interpreted that is "Muschi lecken" (pussy licking) ~_~ |
#301808 (154/194) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Flack> hey guys whats the link to that website that goes through a little animation telling you to google things |
#302916 (368/472) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MW-SoulAssassin> !eightball will i die from masturbating?
<Alaric> MW-SoulAssassin: Come again? |
#144684 (2010/2634) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
john2.0: so my mom was reading the list of songs that i have
john2.0: that i wrote down to give you
john2.0: she thought it was some suicide note |
#308534 (214/272) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a weather balloon. Due to possible radioactive contamination, Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until further notice. |
#305620 (354/454) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Gale_> my sister's neighbor is a dumbass
<Gale_> "Look at me, I'm going to have an unsecured wireless network and not change the default login settings for the router!"
<Gale_> My question is should I protect their network and change the login settings on the router just to teach them a lesson, or should I leave it be and let my sister borrow their connection whenever she feels like?
<Gale_> I did that to my neighbor a couple of years ago.
<Gale_> put a password on it and changed the router login info.
<Gale_> The router was in the dumpster a few days later and a new unsecured network showed up at the same time. |
#77482 (4933/6483) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Snausages> So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
<Snausages> And the bartender says,
<Snausages> "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."
<Myke> That struck a chord.
<Snausages> Careful with those puns, you'll get in treble.
<Myke> But they're key to my humour.
<Myke> And very noteworthy. |
#76066 (658/852) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Smokey> Me and this bitch are playing phone tag
<Smokey> Her mom answered
<Smokey> and she was like "Your going to have to call back, adam, Ive got to use the phone"
<Smokey> Then she didnt hang up, and started dialing numbers
<Smokey> Then stopped
<Smokey> and I was like, in a deeper voice "Hello"
<Smokey> And she was like "Hey, baby"
<Smokey> Then I just started laughing
<Smokey> And she was like Goddamnit |
#59269 (586/758) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+Brian> I just started playing with my girlfriend last night and I have to say I'm very impressed with the graphics, sounds and overall polish. |
#34174 (385/497) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Guyp> my mom wont let me go to the gym
<Guyp> she thinks i'll look at girls and my mind will be sinning ;[
<Guyp> so i think i'll ask her if a gay gym is ok :> |
#53151 (7879/10397) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.Comment: true story, i fixed the code and am running it again
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#35719 (406/522) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<menno> damnit
<menno> nvidia mousemat broke my table :(
<DEATH> wtf?
<menno> yeah, it was one of those selfsucking mousemats
<menno> when I tried to pull it off it took half of the table with it |
#49724 (465/599) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ihate_tuz> and where did you get this ridiculus idea that i hate you?
<_tuz> geee, i wonder. |
#38330 (312/400) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Logik> LMFAO
<Logik> this is great
<Logik> listen up guys
<Logik> one of the hits on my website..
<Logik> os: windows 2000
<Logik> browser: explorer 6
<Logik> referer: www.search4hardcore.com
<Logik> hostname: Â library2.sagu.edu
<Nitron> o_0
<Logik> sagu = southwestern assembly of god university |
#33428 (531/687) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<~kid[0]> odd
<~kid[0]> so friday
<~kid[0]> i drank alot of beer
<~kid[0]> yesterday i woke up feeling fine
<~kid[0]> today i wake p and my head hurts
<~kid[0]> wtf?
<+x24> lagComment: #gideontech
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#62507 (551/713) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
xTedHeadx: GNAAAAHHH CAT ON BACK
xTedHeadx: CATS ARE SHARP |
#61194 (469/609) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<code> i'm not wearing any pants.
<mittens> I've been drinking for almost seven straight hours!
<Syntacs> The last two lines are a recipe for disaster. |
#60302 (509/661) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Babushka> i have to piss
<nash> then go piss :P
<Babushka> i can't
<nash> why not
<Babushka> because...there's a baby spider that is using my right pant's leg as a mooring for his web...i don't want to ruin his work
<nash> ahhaha
<Babushka> i haven't left this seat for nearly three hours. i better have a damn good excuse for my husband when he gets home and asks why the fuck i pissed myself |
#57881 (524/678) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-!- ians [~ians@206.73.209.94] has joined #berg
< ians> :-(
< jeriko> why the sad emoticon?
< ians> My name is depressing.
< jeriko> there's lots of people with the last name "gay", ians
< ians> Jeriko, my middle name is Robert.
< ians> I just received a letter from my bank titled to "I. R. Gay" |
#57710 (442/570) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<orph> sigh, the sucky thing about open source is that people don't tell you when they're ripping off your ideas
<stuart> orph: just do what i do
<stuart> know that all ideas are yours and expect that everyone else is ripping them off
<orph> stuart: what a good idea. i'm glad i thought of it! |
#34733 (705/917) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Now talking in #Christian
<Cyk> How is a painting of jesus better than the real jesus?
<Kraynor> beats me
<Cyk> you only need one nail to hang the picture
<Aer> your going to burn in hell |
#54062 (523/677) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<frew> I hate it when people don't spell or adhere to proper rules of grammar on the Internet...
<frew> Why can't one take an extra two seconds to proofread?
<frew> It's not like your reading an essay...
*** frew has been kicked by fr_gment (Your = Possessive pronoun; You're = Contraction of "You Are.") |
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