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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..26272829303132..596Next> |
#35679 (468/588) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AmishOne> Okay, this is just funny.
<AmishOne> So at notacon, one of the guests was attemping to win the crowd over by saying he would buy us alcohol with his platnium card.
<AmishOne> He was waving it around to make the point.
<AmishOne> I got a picture of this.
<AmishOne> I just realized now that I can read the full card information off of it in my picture. |
#303524 (467/711) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[DominoEffect] so, I saw quite possibly the best thing ever today
[DominoEffect] had to go to the hospital because my mother had to have surgery done
[DominoEffect] and in the lobby there was a little bakery type thing, with coffee and bagels and such
[DominoEffect] the guy behind the counter was short, big nose, bald on top, short curly hair on the sides and back of his head
[DominoEffect] when I came in there was a big guy standing around outside, he came in after me and ordered a bagel or something with a thick german accent
[DominoEffect] took a bite and said "you know, we can't get decent baked goods in germany anymore"
[DominoEffect] the guy behind the counter just said "oh, and whose fault is that?"
[DominoEffect] I was fuckin dying, I had to step outside for a minute |
#278831 (467/787) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<laffy> i wanna get stoned
<assembler> go to iran then |
#79641 (467/649) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[@TheWickerMan] I remember this one earthquake waaaay back in the third grade.
[@TheWickerMan] It happened RIGHT after this fatass kid tripped and fell on the floor.
[@TheWickerMan] We'll never let him forget that..
[@TheWickerMan] Everytime he falls, somebody rushes under a desk. |
#295707 (466/678) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rach> so you can like chop blocks of wood in half with your hand?
<incesticide> yeah
*** Joins: cj
<rach> does it hurt?
<incesticide> not really, if you do it right
<cj> ...
<incesticide> if you don't know what you're doing you'll end up breaking your hand
*** Quits: cj (I don't even want to know) |
#60934 (465/639) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mikedep333> while I appreciate the attempt of ubuntu to be user friendly, automatically connecting to my neighbor's unencrypted wireless network is technically illegal for meComment: #ubuntu on freenode
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#49724 (465/599) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ihate_tuz> and where did you get this ridiculus idea that i hate you?
<_tuz> geee, i wonder. |
#49717 (465/633) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<labala> i like teh leet pie
<looksofat> stfu, nobody likes you here
<@nobody> wtf, no i dont |
#56475 (463/585) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled |
#77026 (463/703) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Darren> These anti-drug commericals are getting out of hand.
<Darren> It's this cartoon, and this guy is smoking a joint.
<Darren> And then this alien lands on Earth.
<Darren> And then the guys girlfriend hooks up with the alien when he denies weed.
<Kenji> i want what hes smoking
<Amt> me too |
#71222 (463/631) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Syntacs> It's a shame Nintendo isn't releasing today, because they could have an advertising campaign that said "Happy Hallowiin! Don't forget to trick or twiit!", and we'd all be like "Hah! What a delightful pun from the loveable and eccentric Japanese.", and Sony would say "Uh, Happy Thanksps3ing. Err. Shit." |
#54799 (463/661) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER |
#32206 (463/607) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it." |
#137188 (462/636) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Vertelemming> Either your keyboard is broken, you're drunk, or you're drunk and your keyboard is broken.
< loft306> nuether |
#42802 (462/662) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(thyriad) $bla = mail($Replyemail, $Theme, $Moreheaders, $Firstmessage);
(thyriad) thats how i have it right now
(thyriad) and it dont work
(+Opium) that's because it's wrong
(thyriad) lol
(thyriad) well what order should it be in
(+Opium) rtfm
(thyriad) excellent it works now, thanks
(+Opium) ... |
#35080 (462/652) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lewko> Do you want to have lunch?
<BenK> Sure. What did you feel like eating?
<Lewko> Anything, as long as it used to frolic in a meadow!
<BenK> Hippies? |
#32455 (462/630) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bad_CRC> I went to the hospital today, and it's called "olmstead medical group" so the whole place had "OMG OMG OMG" all over it. |
#29640 (462/910) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<liquex> w00t
* liquex is the happiest man alive
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> w00t
<Gnimsh> hey liqqy
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> liqqy scored
<liquex> dude
<liquex> how did you know
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lol
<liquex> were you watching my webcam?
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lmao
<Gnimsh> lmao
<liquex> seriously i wanna know how you knew |
#6441 (462/981) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado |
#79369 (461/647) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler.
< kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did wrong?
< deviant> C is great
< ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?"
< ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"Comment: #intersocs
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#33761 (461/607) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shav|DDR> Gonna meet a friend I haven't seen in months
<Mayseth> The sun? |
#211187 (460/674) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HoodrowTrillson> You say -I- have internet badass syndrome? At least I can insult someone without involving genitals or homosexuality you cock-sucking faggot. |
#54362 (460/578) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story
<raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it
<raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom
<raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her
<raela> or at least, not the father
<raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D |
#49734 (459/619) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Davester: Woo I just won at Freecell
Davester: Now all I need to do is get laid
Davester: And it'll be the best year ever |
#304300 (459/637) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DayNine> Fractal alligators.
<DayNine> Like a normal alligator, but instead of arms, there are more alligators. |
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