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#310401 (71/81) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zavie> Saga_Musix this actually happened when opening my Internet line: "Do you want a phone?" "hmm why not, how much? ok then." ... later: "Please write your name, address, phone number..." "I don't have a phone number." "We need a phone number." "You do realize you are asking me for a phone number to open a phone line?" (embarrased) "yes, it's a little stupid" |
#309079 (129/153) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
12:28:31] <e0x> i use G+ , in fact is the only social network beside irc that i use
<e0x> ( yes irc is a social network )
<`WarpKat> irc is not a social network - it's where i come to waste time most of the day without doing anything productive at work.
<`WarpKat> ...
<`WarpKat> ok.
<`WarpKat> maybe it IS a social network. |
#309109 (132/154) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> ....
<Pryoidain> I just fucking got OWNED by a plastic bag
<Pryoidain> So I finished my twizzlers right and I had this 1 gallon plastic bag with a double seal thing
<Pryoidain> so i closed it up real tight and used a straw to inflate it to bursting, then sealed it
<Pryoidain> and i sat it on my desk chair and plopped down on it HARD to try and pop it
<Pryoidain> fucker shot out behind me, I flew forward face to desk, chair went backward, I fell off the desk and slammed my fucking head on the wall, and then the bag fell, still inflated, onto my lap |
#270129 (740/890) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< Frowardd> this channel, collectively, is alikened to a bundle of burning cigarettes
< Frowardd> ie, full of nicotine and bad for me.
< Frowardd> goodnight
<@relsqui> that was the subtlest way to call us all fags ever
< Selig> relsqui: what was?
<@relsqui> exactly. |
#307376 (273/325) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves |
#200090 (575/691) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<GreenCobra> We have a very simple policy here: arguing with the mods is allowed, winning an argument against the mods will get you banned. |
#311632 (58/68) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Danika> hmph, Twitter thought one of my tweets was considered "suicidal" or something
<StriderHLC> The hellsite strikes again
<Danika> yeah I said something like "I wish my parents never had me"
<StriderHLC> "We suspect you may be suicidal. We are locking your account to remove you from your support network as a courtesy." |
#306448 (370/444) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<LordFrith> If you need floating point math in your script, you need to begin writing in a complete language.
<grawity> Speaking of which. Is it bad when half of my script is bash, the other half is Perl?
<lautriv> grawity, as long as the third half is NOT VB, it's ok.
<grawity> Halves usually come in pairs of two.
<LordFrith> Someone programming in VB might not realize that. |
#310254 (89/103) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<shachaf> you open the third door and behind it is an argument about the monty hall problem |
#163702 (503/603) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Dexi> is it bad that I kinda maybe sorta have a little crush on this cute adorable funny goth chick with upwards of 37 piercings?
<Tiel> ...
<Dexi> a new one every week
<Tiel> and what attracts you to her?
<Tiel> did you swallow a magnet? |
#114343 (426/510) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<shadowwire> I gave away ramen noodles, pork and beans, jello snacks, vienna sauseges, dollar bills and candy on halloween.
<shadowwire> the kids had their pick.
<shadowwire> You would be supprised how many kids took the ramen.
<shadowwire> I even had a pirate fight a spider man for a can of pork and beans.
<pelaofeliz> who won?
<shadowwire> the pirate. |
#300297 (488/586) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Asaph> Yo, Pry?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Sup?
<Asaph> You're in geology right?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Ya.
<Asaph> What's the law of original horizontality?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Rocks do it in the missionary position.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Err, all sedimentary rock forms horizontally, any distortion in that must have taken time to form.
<Asaph> Thanks...What was that about missionary position?
<Pryo[Geo110]> I memorize all my rules/laws as sexual positions. Then whenever i get laid, it's like i'm studying. |
#305221 (741/893) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<sdmkun> tar -xzf merc.tgz what the fuck
<sdmkun> how the fuck do you people remember this shit
<bucketmouse> just think with a german accent
<bucketmouse> XTRACT ZE FILES |
#308420 (214/256) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Dazuro> ...
<Dazuro> why
<Dazuro> why
<Dazuro> why cant i have a normal family
<Dazuro> i pissed off mom and she threatened to mail my foreskin to my girlfriend. |
#310394 (137/163) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<&Orillion> All my lines are under the GNU public license
<&Orillion> Feel free to interpret and rewrite them as you like
<&Orillion> I know my girlfriend does |
#311000 (111/129) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pen Straw> the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle |
#296967 (621/751) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> The higher the IQ of the individual...
<Pryoidain> The more they enjoy watching a robot drive into a wall at top speed. |
#279763 (660/794) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Infidel> hey i have about 50+ foreighn ips connected to my comp
<Infidel> should i be worried?
<Sky> what port, what protocol?
* Infidel hat die Verbindung getrennt (Ping timeout)
<Sky> yes, you should be worried. |
#39110 (525/631) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<duckman> yo fubar
<Fubar> ya?
<duckman> wat u doin
<Fubar> guess...
<Fubar> it's something you have to do around 3 times a day or you can die very soon...
<duckman> masturbating?
<technic> mastubate?
<avin> masturbate?
<biggie> jerkin off?
<Fubar> ...
<Fubar> EATING! IM EATING |
#71947 (698/840) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Sceadwian> My ferrets are crunching on food behind my computer desk.
<Shadow_mil> ...
<Shadow_mil> Ummm ferrets
<Shadow_mil> my sister has one
<Sceadwian> At least I hope it's food. If it's a power cord I may suddenly disconnect and have a flameing ball of furr shooting across the room
* Sceadwian has quit (Connection timed out)Comment: #freenode-social @irc.freenode.net
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#57922 (620/746) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 monthsComment: #maddox
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#59014 (651/783) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Azio> Be wary of SEO firms that send you email out of the blue.
<Azio> Amazingly, we get these spam emails too:
<Azio> "Dear google.com,
<Azio> I visited your website and noticed that you are not listed in most of the major search engines and directories..." |
#370 (1145/1386) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Beeth> Progress (n.): The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart
<Beeth> people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals. |
#22621 (2542/3092) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
(mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO THE MUSIc
(mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad OF JuST the LIGHt |
#63572 (563/677) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<EnderGT> When I was a kid I went with my dad to his job in facilities for a large company
<EnderGT> They had a bank of diesel-powered generators in their basement - huge 24-cylinder beasts
<EnderGT> On this trip there happened to be a 20 gallon bottle (think old water-cooler bottle) sitting on the floor with about 6 inches of diesel fuel in the bottom
<EnderGT> I inquired as to whether this was a safety hazard - and then watched as a co-worker deliberately struck a match and dropped it in the bottle
<EnderGT> The match fell to the liquid and was extinguished
<EnderGT> As a slightly older youth I attempted to repeat this experiment - only this time with a) a plastic container, b) gasoline, and c) outside on the driveway.
<EnderGT> I think my eyebrows grew back within a week or two |
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