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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..582583584585586587588..596Next> |
#4207 (72/257) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<eldeesux0r> i used to think lysol was a lice repellent
<eldeesux0r> one day i sprayed it in my hair before i went to school cuz they were doing lice checks
<eldeesux0r> i got a rash :| |
#4372 (72/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis |
#6778 (72/229) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well.. looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly |
#7352 (72/250) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@[ben]> youd be suprised how many pancakes that mouth has masticated
<@[ben]> and yes, i spelt the last word right |
#12606 (72/216) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(Kawmun_Sentz): Tip of the day: Your daily fudgesicles intake should be less than 7 |
#13446 (72/273) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Demanicus> Well if this is how a period feels I have a whole new respect for women |
#14787 (72/254) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the contents of your
nostrils into a trash can |
#16602 (72/256) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
<Baledood> oops
<Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key |
#18398 (72/259) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jitspoe> my hard drive is clicking
<jitspoe> it's the one that fell on my foot and freaked me out :)
<jitspoe> all of a sudden something somewhat large and warm landed on my foot
<jitspoe> ... and i had my pants on |
#18931 (72/229) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pizzathie> sex? what's that?
<Foole> pr0n without a camera
<pizzathie> I must have been doing something wrong at school
<Foole> i did lots of wrong things at school |
#31152 (72/272) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<[moose]KT> Quoting bash.org is like masturbating, people know you do it |
#31343 (72/378) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<funk> \o/ <-- person in posession of pie |
#31497 (72/284) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<trucker> i'm a self proclaimed pornography historian/archivist
<trucker> thats my job |
#36883 (72/182) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
mistercow43: but I thought I'd tell you how insane I am
mistercow43: i find a hot dog in the fridge
mistercow43: I think
mistercow43: "ok, I'll have a cheese dog"
mistercow43: I look
mistercow43: no cheese, except parmesan
mistercow43: no hotdog buns
mistercow43: in fact
mistercow43: no bread except for pita and tortilla
mistercow43: so naturally
mistercow43: I fried an egg
mistercow43: put it on the hot dog
mistercow43: put some italian pasta sauce on it
mistercow43: and some parmesan cheese
mistercow43: and nuked it for 30 seconds
Narso310: LOL
Narso310: was it good?
mistercow43: yes
mistercow43: yes it was |
#37015 (72/200) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mercury> emacs sucks, literally, not an insult, just a comment that its large enough to have a noticeable gravitational pull...Comment: #debian-devel
|
#39831 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<becci> where do you go to find out if a dentist is legit?
<spilt> hehe
<spilt> 1800DENTIST
<effnet> well
<effnet> if hes using rusty plyers to pull your teeth out
<effnet> he might not be legit
<spilt> she wants to know before i think
<becci> what if he works on your teeth for 2.5 hours and keeps saying "oh my...that's a lot of blood"
<becci> and "that etch really stops the bleeding good"
<effnet> toof had some dental work but her teeth are so big they had to use a jack hammer to operate on them
<luminol> if your zipper is down when the antesthesia wears off
<withnail> then your first treatment is free
<becci> can you guys shut the fuck up |
#40995 (72/166) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION" |
#41997 (72/160) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ace_Reaper> ..i don't think god really will be happy with you burning the churchs
<Ste> He destroys them in floods and stuff all the time
<Ace_Reaper> yes but see thats HIM doing it
<Ace_Reaper> its like playing Simcity
<Ace_Reaper> you don't mind setting a hurricane on your city
<Ace_Reaper> but your pissed if one comes along naturally |
#53962 (71/281) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<warbird> omg... the latest ooga-booga critical super important must install now security patch from M$ didn't require a reboot!!
* warbird faints |
#243326 (71/145) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse |
#264828 (72/142) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<HalfNote5> You guys do realize that if McCain wins, watching him try to lead the country is going to be an equivalent exercise in frustration to watching your great-grandfather trying to set the VCR clock. |
#297065 (72/124) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Josh: it's amazing that people don't simply think "apostrophe's replace missing letters in a contraction" and use them correctly
Mike: ...please tell me that was intentional and sarcastic
Mike: because otherwise it's going in quotes.txt. and nothing ever gets removed from quotes.txt |
#304222 (72/122) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Sebas> "I like these piercings that look like clubs and spades."
<@Sebas> "Get your upper lip pierced too, then you can get the hearts and the diamonds as well and have a pokerface." |
#306046 (72/92) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
skyhawk2891_: captchas will be the death of me
skyhawk2891_: one day a man will hold a gun to my head, show me a captcha, and say "WHAT DOES THIS SAY OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT"
skyhawk2891_: and that's how I will die |
#309884 (72/128) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Mondale (~Mondale@CPE-120-148-236-70.hdqu1.vic.bigpond.net.au) has joined #fountain_pens
<kerin> sup, nerd
<Mondale> sup nerd
<kerin> punctuatin'
<kerin> to a limited extent
<kerin> you?
<Mondale> wtf does that mean
<kerin> it's a contraction of "punctuating"
<kerin> which means applying punctuation to sentences
<Mondale> why would you need to do that?
<kerin> "to a limited extent" indicates that this punctuation is incomplete
<Mondale> yes, but why
<kerin> because punctuation provides additional clarity when parsing sentences
<kerin> and my closing "you?" is digressing to inquire, out of politeness, about whatever tragically uninteresting bullshit you occupy your time with
<jrvc> OH BURN |
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