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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..584585586587588589590..596Next> |
#32534 (73/335) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Lizking unzips pants
* Lizking reveals CHAINSAW PENIS
*** Lizking has been kicked off channel #voices by JB (No one wants to see that.)Comment: #voices on darkmyst
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#36410 (73/211) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<laurent> ls
<laurent> ls
<laurent> err
<laurent> duh this isn't a shell |
#37502 (73/179) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< leary> how many people does it take to have an organized religion?
< leary> cause i got an idea
< Systat> 2
< Systat> one to preach and one to beleive the bullshit |
#42057 (73/155) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Celestar> I almost got trapped yesterday
<Celestar> in a fucking car park
<Celestar> I was just paying, and suddenly the only gate began to close
<Celestar> so I ran up and found a photo sensor
<Celestar> luckily I always have duct tape in my bag
<Celestar> so I patched the light barrier with duct tape
<Celestar> to get my car
<GeniusDex> lol good work Celestar :P |
#42773 (73/211) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<%TTK> How would I start overclocking
<mikeszewil> don't know
<+Fizban30> first
<+Fizban30> open the box
<+Fizban30> make sure its on
<+Fizban30> and stick a knife in random spots
<+Fizban30> when you feel the zap your done |
#42849 (73/207) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<aeon> As much as I love sitting at my computer for weeks at a time designing brochures, websites, logos, and maintaining a webserver..
<aeon> I might go clean my car.
<aeon> my fiance wrote " I LOVE YOU " with a grape jelly doughnut on my driver-side window and it just hasn't quite completely come off yet... |
#44942 (73/209) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<[sync]> Windows Services for Unix destroyed my windows installation
<[sync]> Microsoft: this is what you get, traitor |
#45815 (73/161) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women. |
#89114 (73/369) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
daftpunk988: Bah, Im gonna hate going to college
daftpunk988: Hell, I still dont know exactly how college and university works yet
daftpunk988: Like majors and minors, what the hell does that mean?
LuminousIce: Major is just your primary field of study... the classes you take, the subject you focus on, etc. It's like choosing what you hated least in high school as something you get more of. Minors are the supplement to that... Like the smaller, less imposing crony that helps out the big scary mother fucker. |
#267642 (73/137) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rowan> [link to image of girl]
<Rowan> that be her
<art0rz> i would hit it
<Rowan> you'd hit anything that moves
<Rowan> or probably preferably, can't move |
#297086 (73/239) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< leth> gnufs: but that is already perfect, why would you need to change it?
< gnufs> leth: free software is not about perfection but satisfying your ego by modifying stuff for no reasonComment: #gnewsense on Freenode
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#299783 (73/277) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ctburley> bacardi grand melon tastes like something
<ctburley> but watermelon it does not.
<ctburley> however
<ctburley> the burps taste like watermelon |
#308226 (73/145) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jax184> A poem in Punctuation.
<Jax184> ^<@<.@* (Hat less at less point at star)
<Jax184> }"_# | (Backbrace double base pound space bar)
<Jax184> -@\$&/_% (Dash at cash and slash base rate)
<Jax184> !( @|=> (Wow open tab at bar is great)
<Jax184> ;`+\$?^? (Semi backquote plus cash huh DEL)
<Jax184> ,#"~|)^G (Command pound double tilde bar close BEL) |
#309837 (73/95) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<refnum> kish: last time I slept with this girl she put her dogs in the middle of the bed
<refnum> like wtf
<refnum> it was like a clear separation
<ogz> HAHA
<ogz> DOGBLOCKED |
#310054 (73/101) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome |
#310284 (73/113) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<bionicfen> I am starting to get tired of my aspie friend staying in my guest room
<bionicfen> it smells of balls
<bionicfen> because he is having A Sad and not showering
<JDigital> help him into the shower like that time in King of the Hill where the bald one is having a sad
<bionicfen> oh my god my friend is Bill
<bionicfen> jesus fuckiing christ JD you son of a bitch
<bionicfen> I had not made this connection
<bionicfen> Like all he's missing is the ex wife
<bionicfen> man globalization is an amazing thing
<bionicfen> an Northern Irish dungeon master manages to completely grasp the essence of a man I've known for 15 years in a single sentence, referencing a cartoon television show |
#127 (74/378) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MadHatter> I've been using mirc exclusively for like 6-7 years or whatever
<MadHatter> I could get mIRC certified by now |
#1044 (74/240) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<digdug> i think i've come up with a solution to my problem
<digdug> i'll just put each [previously misconfigured NT] box into its own domain
<digdug> mwuahahahah
<h2odragon> digdug: you are in Hell; all you can do is push the rock up a different wall for a while
<h2odragon> it's still going to roll back down |
#1659 (74/201) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ix> man that offer for cash perked you right up
<vermifuge> i didnt even get to the most appealing part
<vermifuge> there will be a bucket of fried chicken here for your consumption
<goatb0y> well that fucking settles it
<goatb0y> any collared greens by chance?
<vermifuge> dude there could be |
#2923 (74/240) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<michael-> shut up
<michael-> i sucked a lot of cock to get where i am today
<kisama> heh
<kisama> at least you got to suck cock and not be ass raped like the rest of us |
#3634 (74/240) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tyne> my life consists of 2 things
<tyne> music
<tyne> and debt |
#4243 (74/244) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kir> if i had a better body, and clearer skin, i'd be a snobby bitch |
#4852 (74/221) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ryo-ohki> and it would be an understatement to say I AM FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND
<DCBastard> lol - what else is new?
<DCBastard> one day you should come into the channel and go "WOW - I AM TOTALLY FUCKING STRAIGHT" - we'd all be like "holy shit! that is amazing!" |
#5432 (74/227) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble |
#5715 (74/213) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* NovaScorp just taped his old 15" monitor connected to his server sideways on a chair so he can IRC while in bed =-D |
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