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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..588589590591592593594..596Next> |
#33990 (75/301) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<orion> i HATE
<orion> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<orion> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY |
#38466 (75/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<SquareRoot> I know this is very OT, but I come here a bit so I thought I could try asking here... I found my sister's goldfish on the floor about a minute ago (although I have no idea how long it's been there... it was dry though) ... it appears that it jumped out of the bowl... upon reinserting it it proceeded to just float there... is there anything I can do? |
#40009 (75/155) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MouseTrapBob3749> Dude i think my dog is stoned
<Sanchezisgod> wut the hell? y in the hell would u think that?
<MouseTrapBob3749> dude hes obviously stoned man he keeps talking to me! |
#44290 (75/159) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(@killacockney) anybody know how good vantec stealth fans are?
(TurboDttL) i've never seen one |
#45975 (75/163) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<EccleS> EriK: I'm more concerned about lying helpless in the dentists chair, while some trained sadist waves electrical equipment in my face
<capgadget> Just grab the dental nurses crotch. At least you will have an excuse.
<capgadget> Unless it is a male nurse.
<capgadget> THen you are up shit creek.
<capgadget> Unless he's gay.
<_Arthur> gays often go up shit creek |
#46554 (75/239) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<robbi> me, christy, and carrie are all cancers
<sethism> cancers to society |
#48452 (75/275) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
xcham: you interested [in taking an amateur radio certification course]?
Nruuuuup: this is like HAM radio?
xcham: yeah
Nruuuuup: the old-fashioned audio only version of blogging
xcham: I figure it's a handy thing to have a license for
Nruuuuup: because...?
xcham: in case, you know, society crumbles
Nruuuuup: hahaaha
Nruuuuup: why do i need a radio to go looting? |
#103645 (75/159) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<magnum12> I do have a hypothesis as to the origins of the werewolf myth. Its an interesting theory.
<magnum12> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of rabies.
<TheCowch> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of furries. |
#141960 (74/122) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Blipo> I'm trying to sell a 1GB DDR-667 RAM chip over Craigslist
<Blipo> So far two people have contacted me thinking I was talking about a mod for the DDR game |
#294742 (75/159) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
{GiGi}: Ffs Pony, you're so back in the closet, you can see Narnia |
#305249 (75/177) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
xxx: Is it just me or is Windos a misnomer?
Jef: ?
xxx: WinDOS
xxx: Win Disk Operating System
xxx: Whilst it isn't Win at all.
Jef: I thought it was windows.
xxx: What should we name your new operating system? Hmm, well, there is a window....
xxx: wait
xxx: Oh wow
xxx: There is a W there
xxx: That invalidates 3 years worth of thought |
#308993 (75/101) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<PL> you really dont need pickup lines in Finland
<PL> It was really romantic how i met my wife
<PL> i found her puking at my bathroom (we had my friends 20yo party here)
<PL> that was love at first sight <3 |
#309217 (75/95) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ender> Every day when I get up I intend to get all kinds of work done.
<Ender> Then everything goes horribly wrong. :)
<devnull> every day when i get up i intend to get as little work done as possible.
<devnull> Then everything goes horribly wrong. |
#309398 (75/83) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< BronzeEagle> I just found a floppy disk in my desk that says "women = evil"
< Frostypants> :D
< o11c> you still have a floppy drive, and were patient enough to put it in?
< BronzeEagle> Negative and negative
< o11c> then how did you know what it says?
< BronzeEagle> It's written on the label
* o11c forgets sometimes that there is a physical layer |
#310941 (75/85) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Chillum: the most evil thing I have ever made is a tiny USB stick that when inserted in a computer pretends to be a keyboard and turns on/off CAPS LOCK every minute or so randomly
Chillum: it drives people insane
dmacks_away: Luckily I have a case-insensitive filesystem and a shell that is so crappy it doesn't even realize when a command is miscapitalized.
legoktm: you use PHP as your shell? |
#311454 (75/101) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Val> Oddish, holy fuck
<Val> I'm sitting, parked, on a dirt road in my cab. Call comes on the radio from dispatch, quote, "Who wants to do a pickup right now?"
<Val> I hit E to accept.
<Val> A Sadler - basically a Ford F-250 crew cab - rear-ends my taxi.
<Val> I guess I consented.
<Oddish> ..... |
#181 (76/398) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(topanga) I HATE HAVING COMPUTER DREAMS. |
#1543 (76/260) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Amanda> I remember being in Europe
<Amanda> and I'd call shaft from payphones to ask if we'd gotten the channel back yet |
#2084 (76/231) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you don't let it out of its room. |
#2424 (76/282) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<c-rOCK> so I wonder if its possible to become SO good at masturbating, sex becomes obsolete. Like you could be fucking a girl, and just go "man this is weak, wheres my right hand at" because pussy simply isnt up to par with your masturbation skills. |
#2820 (76/239) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[Lord-Data] hell, woudlnt mind a girlfriend
[Duckarse] ditto
[incorrect] there's always ebay |
#2899 (76/262) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** hypr changes topic to '.'
<LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of month. |
#3681 (76/256) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<rivvah> dude, he's from montana or some shit. 17.50 would buy a new house
<Ouroboros> What's a house? |
#4077 (76/263) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah |
#4170 (76/290) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<morte> Jesus Peanut Butter Cups: Little pieces of the Son of God in a milk chocolate cup! There's no wrong way to eat a Jesus! |
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