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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..589590591592593594595596Next> |
#6780 (76/205) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of porn!" |
#7322 (76/272) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chris> Spit or Swallow?
<holly> both, I spit and let you swallow |
#8924 (76/248) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<un2> should i just settle for a bmw?
<Gen`Aku> settle settle?!?!?1
<Gen`Aku> don't use the word settle and bmw in the same sentance
<Gen`Aku> unless it's about the dust settling
<Gen`Aku> BITCH |
#14448 (76/223) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@harb> Andy: 01:16 < Danelope> http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=30319
<@kitten> JESUS FUCK
<@kitten> THERE ARE NOW SEVEN FUCKING POPUP WINDOWS
<@harb> Oh yeah.
<@harb> Andy uses IE.
<@harb> Sorry about that.
< Danelope> Hahaha.
< Danelope> IE is for cocksksksk.
<@harb> <cypher> I don't even see the popups anymore.
<@harb> <cypher> Just blonde. Brunette. Redhead.
< Danelope> <cypher> Just viagra, penis enlargement, 581% more cum. |
#14462 (76/224) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Breathe> I hurt my back last week, and it is still hurting. >:(
<SirPrux> Maybe you sprained a muscle
<SirPrux> I sprained a cucumber once
<@Breathe> ...
<SirPrux> man did it hurt
<@Breathe> you sprained a cucumber?
<huzyrdadi> I think he means he sprained his asshole /using/ a cucumber |
#14718 (76/267) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ChlOrPh> it's rillY frustrating to wanna fuck someone who doesn't exist |
#15798 (76/232) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O |
#16857 (76/214) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200 bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude |
#18161 (76/236) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?) |
#18340 (76/240) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Greylark> the phrase "pet peeves" is one of my pet peeves |
#18741 (76/245) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Bludshed> dang
<Bludshed> my eyes hurt today
<Bludshed> ive never had to sit at the computer with my sunglasses on
<Bludshed> before now... |
#18850 (76/248) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ieatrocks> you know what i love?
<ieatrocks> WWJD
<ieatrocks> fuckin a
<ieatrocks> because
<ieatrocks> its all about how you think of jesus
<ieatrocks> so when im in a pinch
<ieatrocks> i say WWJD
<ieatrocks> and i think of jesus as a dope slinging disco dancing pimp ass mofo
<ieatrocks> and then i do it
<ieatrocks> jesus likes to kick things, slack off, and insult people
<ieatrocks> he and i would get along great |
#19205 (76/256) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MafiaItaliana> do you remember the first time you got head?
<chrystopher2001> Yeah...
<MafiaItaliana> how long did it take for him to cum?
<chrystopher2001> shit...i lasted a long time
<MafiaItaliana> bet your mouth got tired eh?
<chrystopher2001> huh? wait a minute... |
#20459 (76/230) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<deathazre> somebody stole twish's vanilla cock
<deathazre> er, coke
<deathazre> ^_^
<TheOrgasmicMe> mmm vanilla cock
<whatboy> maybe it was missy elliot
<whatboy> o.O
<TheOrgasmicMe> if cock tasted like vanilla i would be gay |
#24078 (76/216) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<whitcomb> i somehow get the feeling that listening to the cure and looking at porn is very, very wrong |
#26385 (76/214) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
([m1]) so there i was, at the porcelain boardroom, initiating another
"round of layoffs"
([m1]) and the laptop battery warning popped up
([m1]) never wiped and washed so fast
([m1]) the things i do to keep from losing a network connection |
#29648 (76/296) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Huzzler> chmod 777 kouha
<Huzzler> Now I can make you do stuff for me :-)
<Factotum> 777?!? You slut!
<Huzzler> Yeah!
<Huzzler> Execute him :-)
<Factotum> ./kouha
<kouha> Hi. I'm Kouha version 0.456 beta. Rape me. |
#30523 (76/282) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Supachikn> square and sony are based in japan
<Supachikn> and heaps of other game devs
<Supachikn> and anime
<Supachikn> and hot chicks
<Supachikn> and rally cars
<Supachikn> and nice motorcycles
<Demigoat> and all night whale-meat buffets! |
#30621 (76/252) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<madog> because your a little pee-on
<madog> who has no pull on this network
<madog> try it agian, ill make sure you're glined
<davidc> haha
<davidc> ok madog
* madog (scottx@vulnerable.org) Quit (Local kill by humble (no pull on this network :))) |
#44065 (76/220) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<sirveaux> so here is my take on just one aspect of intarweb politics: AOLers
<sirveaux> (AOLer) The other day, a I and a chum of mine were in the middle of an intellectual debate pertaining to the German spelling reform of 1996 and its ramifications when--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg dude r u liek an AOHELLER?/
<sirveaux> (AOLer) Why, yes I am, and--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg lolollol
<sirveaux> AOLer was kicked by nonAOLer (leik omg aohel si 4 faggerts)
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) rofflekopter
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) lest go fap to screnns of linix
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) well lemme grab sum lube, wud u |
#46290 (76/158) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Tigs> i used to try not to swear
<Tigs> then one day i thought
<Tigs> Fuck it |
#50435 (76/252) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Panther: Play Civ4 until my eyes bleed.
Panther: Then wash them out and play some more.
Xeno: ...
Xeno: =( damn all I'm gonna do is have tons of sex eat pizza and watch anime..
Panther: X.x
Panther: You win.
Xeno: ::bow:: |
#52688 (76/238) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mal> OK, so one of the guys we hired for Christmas was telling us a story from his last job yesterday...
<Mal> A bunch of senior management guys came down for the weekend, and took some junior management guys (store managers and stuff) out camping.
<Mal> So they're out there in the bush and they're doing a bonding exercise where they skin kangaroos they've shot.
<Mal> They're busy getting drunk that night when the senior guys chip in $25 and dare one of the junior guys to fuck one of the skinned kangaroos. He refuses, they up the ante to $50, and he fucking does it. Fucks a skinned kangaroo.
<Mal> The guy wakes up the next morning in his tent, and the skinned kangaroo he fucked the night before has been put in the sleeping bag beside him. Not only did this poor bastard fuck a dead, skinless kangaroo, he then slept with it!
<Wad_S> LOL, that's awesome! Where'd he work?
<Mal> That's the best part.
<Mal> He worked at Burger King. |
#54830 (76/300) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DesScorp> mmmmm
<DesScorp> chinese food
<DesScorp> don't know what I ate
<DesScorp> but it was good
<DesScorp> buffet!
<DesScorp> 83 different items!
<DesScorp> (82 of them probably some form of chicken)
<DesScorp> (I hope)
<KArmA> cooked cat looks remarkably like chicken
<DesScorp> so
<DesScorp> I can say I ate pussy then
<KArmA> you ate dead pussy
<KArmA> in a thick, gravy-like sauce |
#55023 (76/254) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Xeno: I'll work for anyone who pays me enough and treats me good
Tony: how about I smack you around and pay you $5.15 an hour?
Xeno: haha i dont wanna do fast food |
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