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#31926 (713/881) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :< |
#156109 (708/840) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tagert> Well, they're not terribly smart.
<Tagert> So the aircon in the server room is overtaxed and not powerful enough to handle the heat generated by the servers.
<Tagert> So what are they doing?
<Tagert> They're putting in another server to monitor the airconditioner. |
#299533 (707/867) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dr_Pressure> in Old English, a period (.) was used to denote the end of a sentence.
<Dr_Pressure> in modern English, "lol" is used to end a sentence lol |
#35590 (707/875) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<assbear> anyone want a hug?
<crsh> not from someone named assbear |
#193445 (706/892) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@pomo|wii> So, funny story. I don't know if it's true or not, but according to my public speaking professor, it is.
<@pomo|wii> So, a few people decide to throw a party and decide to inflate a few blow-up dolls with helium to have floating around the house.
<@pomo|wii> Now, everything's going well, until apparently some of these dolls escape into the night sky via an open door/window/something
<@pomo|wii> According to what he told us, a woman a few blocks down saw these dolls and thought that the rapture was occuring, and people were floating away into heaven
<@pomo|wii> so this woman RUNS INTO THE STREET, screaming to be taken with them, only to be hit and killed by a car |
#141262 (706/906) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CoolCookieCooks> when i was a child i thought being disabled was another gender because they had seperate toilets. |
#34733 (705/917) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Now talking in #Christian
<Cyk> How is a painting of jesus better than the real jesus?
<Kraynor> beats me
<Cyk> you only need one nail to hang the picture
<Aer> your going to burn in hell |
#73370 (702/856) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
madskz: i' tried ass fuck
takefive: Ahaha
takefive: wait, why?
madskz: what??
madskz: oh shit
madskz: *i'm tired as fuck |
#299829 (700/828) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<eyecer> how fast is your connection?
<R_den> well i went to a site that tests for things like that
<eyecer> what did it say?
<R_den> dunno. still waiting on the page to load |
#55289 (700/834) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pssh> tonight i was watching tv and eating some chinese food
<pssh> my three year old walks in and i turn around and say "Here, want some?" and she just starts crying and runs out of the room
<pssh> my wife barges in and starts yelling at me for scaring her like that
<pssh> turns out my daughter came in asking if i had seen the cat |
#49442 (699/837) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LOAF> So, I'm out back in the alley
<LOAF> I figure I'm alone, right
<LOAF> And it's completely dark
<LOAF> And I see a tiny round silhouette on the ground
<LOAF> Now, we've all been there: is it a coin or is it a splotch?
<LOAF> Do you bend over or don't you? What do you do? You have literally nanoseconds to figure it out.
<LOAF> But it was dark, damned dark, so the call was all the much harder.
<LOAF> And my brain gave the final instructions: coin, go for it, assume it is a coin.
<LOAF> And so I did.
<LOAF> And it was.
<LOAF> Which made me ever so pleased with myself
<LOAF> Which made me decide to do a little hop-and-spin and hold the coin up in the air
<LOAF> Which I did
<LOAF> And as I spun around and put the coin up in the air, there was a homeless guy digging through the dumpster, now staring at me.
<LOAF> And he clapped.
<LOAF> I offered him the coin, but he said I'd earned it. |
#129 (699/1137) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<cndz> what would jesus do>
<Josh> probably get crucified and die |
#71947 (698/840) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sceadwian> My ferrets are crunching on food behind my computer desk.
<Shadow_mil> ...
<Shadow_mil> Ummm ferrets
<Shadow_mil> my sister has one
<Sceadwian> At least I hope it's food. If it's a power cord I may suddenly disconnect and have a flameing ball of furr shooting across the room
* Sceadwian has quit (Connection timed out)Comment: #freenode-social @irc.freenode.net
|
#150317 (697/873) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Neko: how long has it been since i've seen you?
Rawr: since December 9th
Neko: dammit i wanted you to do the math and tell me how many weeks
Rawr: three weeks, three days?
Neko: oh good thank you
Rawr: why, is someone asking you?
Neko: no
Neko: i was bleeding then, and i need to keep track of when i need to buy more tampons
Rawr: ...
Rawr: you are the least romantic person EVER |
#103426 (697/1129) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Justin: Is there something wrong with only having women I can trust deeply enough to call on for advice with life's curveballs?
Scaramouche: Nope.
Scaramouche: Women are infinitely better than men at that sort of thing.
Justin: Probably.. but shouldn't I try to get a male perspective on things too?
Scaramouche: You HAVE a male perspective, remember?
Justin: Oh ya...
Scaramouche: LMAO |
#31567 (693/823) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DasKrav> I was correcting tests for student service a few weeks ago
<DasKrav> And while correcting a geometry test, I got to the question "What is the collision of three planes called?" (The answer was "a point")
<DasKrav> the kid put "A disaster"
<DasKrav> I didn't take off points >:] |
#303479 (688/926) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tom> Guys, I just pulled the best prank ever, took 2 months to do the whole thing.
<Matt> ... Go on?
<Charlie> what was it?
*** Joins: Craig
<Craig> Fuck guys, James died.
<Matt> What the fuck?! How?
<Craig> Noone knows, a midget found him dead in his bathroom apparently.
<Craig> He is up there on the suspect list.
*** Quits: Tom (Ermm.. sleep)
<Craig> That'll teach the prick to hide midgets in my bathroom.
*Craig is now known as James |
#308922 (684/814) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@i_c-Y> i had a nightmare yesterday that i bought 3 licenses of norton antivirus |
#56396 (684/802) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<predation> so I'm at work and this kid rings the bell on the counter RIGHT behind me
<predation> the kid goes "SORRY" when I turn around
<predation> kid's mom goes "sorry isn't an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose"
<predation> i'm putting it on a t-shirt |
#33571 (680/926) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<antivert> One of them was a total asshole, he was like "STOP LISTENING TO ME!!" because I was call coaching him
<antivert> this guy apparently told his customer "Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to put you in the penalty box." And the customer kept getting pissed off so he was like
<antivert> "Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to put you in the penalty box."
<antivert> the guy started yelling again so he took off his headset, put it in one of the metal drawers by the desks and started kicking the FUCK out of it screaming "YOU'RE IN THE PENALTY BOX!! YOU'RE IN THE PENALTY BOX MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"Comment: antivert worked tech support
|
#117878 (679/803) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<timelyx> can someone explain how to use wikipedia in a foreign language? :)
<max> timelyx: navegar simplemente a wikipedia.org y seleccionar tu lengua |
#301634 (677/819) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ucota> So I've learned watching TV with pry isn't a good idea.
<asaph> Oh?
<Ucota> Well you know how he's gonna be a Medical Examiner right?
<Ucota> Dr. G came on, he flips to it
<Ucota> This guy had his colon contents empty into his bowels, he has a hernia, the chick is cutting into the guys scrotal sack
<cjk> OH GOD.
<Ucota> I know, but pry is just STARING at the screen going "I bet it is trauma induced hernial hemorrhaging that led to sepsis and that caused the heart attack.." or some shit
<asaph> did he even flinch when she said scrotal sack?
<Ucota> Fuck no, he was like nose length away from the TV, Like he was trying to see the other side of the camera.
<asaph> wow.
-!- Joins: Pryoidain
<cjk> Dude you're a fucking weirdo
<asaph> I have no words for you today, pry.
<Pryoidain> ...What the fuck did i miss?
<Ucota> I told them about when we watched Dr. G
<Pryoidain> Oh the Scrotal Sack one? That was cool. |
#300287 (677/817) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Toba> Note to self: check new boxers before wearing. I just found a 'quality control passed' sticker on my wang. |
#61801 (676/816) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<descart3s> i heard some chick tell another chick to shut her "cock port" today
<descart3s> i almost died laughing |
#110 (674/885) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ohtani> one day I will kill ever person on earth who says 'u' instead of 'u'
<Ohtani> err
<kaientai> Ohtani: Planning a suicide run? |
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