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#31494 (644/798) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
<Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen |
#72 (644/889) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds |
#302050 (643/811) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Beanuritos> No way, I'm lazier than any of you.
<zetatech> i was so lazy earlier that while masturbating i just pretended i came
<Beanuritos> ...
<MorkDB> ...
<Beanuritos> respect |
#141217 (643/807) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AgentRenegade> you know you spend too much time on your computer when you watch a clip of a website on the news, and instead of looking at the website itself, you focus on the fact that the station uses Firefox.. |
#111114 (641/875) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> So, we were all sitting around, trying to decide who would cook tonight.
<Trinexx> Someone got the wonderful idea of making ME cook, despite the fact that I once caught ramen noodles on fire. I, of course, told them it was a bad idea. They didn't believe me. Gave me a recipe and very precise directions. I finally agreed to do it, but only if they understood that they eat at their own risk.
<Trinexx> So yeah, we've all got food poisoning now. |
#143405 (639/841) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< mrpull> my little boy (finally) made the transition from diapers to "big boy" underwear. On his first day back to pre-school he dropped trou and showed the whole class his Lightning McQueens.
< mrpull> and it created a domino effect of 3YRO's showing their undies
< mrpull> I didn't see it, but it looks hilarious in my mind |
#294457 (636/844) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<khonsu> I dunno, I gave up on the LoTR books :P
<Madda> Oh
<Madda> Yeah, but that's understandable
<Madda> Tolkien makes wonderful worlds.
<Madda> But in terms of actually writing the stories?
<Madda> He's not so good.
<Valtieri> Madda: And goes on about 'em for 50 pages :P
<Madda> So, yeah, like, they were travelling.
<Madda> It was a clear day.
<Madda> The sun was high in the sky.
<Madda> The road they were walking on was lined with trees.
<Madda> The trees? They were like elm or something.
<Madda> Oh? What's on them? Well...
<Madda> It's like an uneventful part of a D&D game being run by a good DM but with a bunch of paranoid players.
<khonsu> hahaha
<khonsu> perfect
<Madda> "What does the road look like? IT'S A FUCKING ROAD, JUST GET ON WITH THE ADVENTURE!" |
#79876 (635/851) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<forestcre> girls don't have colons or farts or poos
<winry> of course they dont
<winry> we never do that
<forestcre> that's why girls are full of shitComment: ...got me a kickban.
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#54696 (633/791) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<joe`> I got overpaid $150 two weeks ago, i decided not to say anything
<joe`> now last week they UNDERPAID me $150, so I went to my manager to tell him to put it right and he comes out with "you didn't tell us when we overpaid you, did you"?
<joe`> I told him "I'll tolerate one mistake, but not two!" |
#309577 (628/662) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Caboose> Mango, you're a programmer, right?
<Mango> Depends. If you're asking because you're curious, yes, I've been a programmer for most of my career.
<Mango> If you're asking because you installed 5000 toolbars and now your computer "runs kinda slow", I work at Starbucks. |
#30305 (627/785) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<`Frieza> dont you get it! I have a giant Brain that is capable of reduceing anything down to a yes or no question.
<bUdDyLeE> LOL `Frieza I don't think that's how it's supposed to work
<bUdDyLeE> watch
<bUdDyLeE> What is the meaning of life?
<`Frieza> yes
<bUdDyLeE> elaborate
<`Frieza> no
<bUdDyLeE> fair enough. |
#235037 (625/807) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@Iridium) I had a weird dream last night.
(@Iridium) similar to the email shit, a paparazzo managed to get high res, incontrovertible pictures of Sarah Palin on a farm fucking a horse.
(Lid) she was fucking the horse? as in she was wearing a strap on behind a mare?
(@Iridium) No, she was up under him.
(@Iridium ) I kinda figured normal people wouldn't be concerned with the details of that part. |
#101951 (625/809) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<michael__> can someone help me with my internet coennection
<Khrajin> michael__: I assure you it is working.Comment: #ubuntu
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#74528 (623/777) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
ETJ> Okay.
ETJ> My sister is going to be the worst driver ever
ETJ> She was apparently in the parking lot of a church I used to go to practicing.
ETJ> HUge as hell parking lot, completely deserted except for one bus.
Ariana> she hit the bus?
ETJ> She not only crashes into the bus, but crashes into it backing up at 7MPH
Ariana> did she drive away?
ETJ> That's the kicker.
Kyle> ...
ETJ> She freaked out, and stepped on the gas.
ETJ> ...While still in reverse. |
#309850 (623/655) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat |
#145685 (622/872) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
lbreeves2: its official
lbreeves2: I have spent far too much time on the internets
lbreeves2: I was just typing my paper and was trying to type "Jewish laws"
lbreeves2: It came out "Jewish Lawls"
lbreeves2: so I backspaced it... and typed the same fucking thing again |
#71165 (622/770) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yahovah> bsmntbombdood: I have a new nickname for you. Captain Oblivious.
<bsmntbombdood> I don't get it
<Yahovah> Exactly. |
#296967 (621/751) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> The higher the IQ of the individual...
<Pryoidain> The more they enjoy watching a robot drive into a wall at top speed. |
#236280 (622/728) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Upthorn> The place I lived on the outskirts of baltimore had good sound insulation
<superjupi> I'd give two ovaries and most of a kitten to have good sound insulation
<BagOfMagicFood> If I type this many letters then it lines up good sound insulation |
#101348 (620/978) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@MetalOverlord> 69 IS DIVINE
<@lemmayoshi> 70 is 69 with one watching
<@MetalOverlord> LAME
<@dlong> 68 is me eating out a snowman
<@CatGirlFetish> what in the fuck |
#57922 (620/746) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 monthsComment: #maddox
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#74243 (618/842) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Omi> My brother thought it'd be funny to take keys from my keyboard and put them around the house
<Omi> And where he hid them depended on the key, so it was relevant in some way
<Omi> So he put the 'T' in the kitchen
<Omi> The up arrow on some porn mags
<Omi> The insert key in my stash of condoms
<Omi> The 'P' key in the bathroom
<Omi> The Print Screen key beside the digital camera
<Omi> The Delete key in the bin
<Omi> And the Escape key on an old French holiday brochure |
#76605 (617/833) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@big_al> .
<Loki1> good point |
#74549 (617/795) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cached> What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?
<cached> A polar bear. |
#224012 (616/790) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<psypete> ok, so i have a question
<psypete> fellow geohashers
<psypete> is there any prize or accomplishment for geohashing in a hurricane?
<joannac|reallyAsleep> a darwin award |
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