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#60470 (673/807) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ina> got a problem with that file stuff
<Alex> what?
<Ina> yeah, always tells me that the files are too large
<Alex> well, send them separately or compress them
<Ina> but I've already pushed them closer to each other
<Alex> pushed them closer??
<Ina> yeah, on the screen, you know
<Alex> ???
<Ina> those symbols, you know, I've put them closer to each other, now they take up less room
<Alex> you've... pushed together... the images... the symbols...?
<Ina> YEAH! Now they need less space, don't they?
<Alex> ...*bangs head on table* |
#70466 (672/834) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pig[Trabajo]> I was visiting my friend's uni, right?
<Pig[Trabajo]> And they had this Thai kid show up
<Pig[Trabajo]> His full name was: Sataporn Pornpromlikit
<Pig[Trabajo]> Every single fraternity petitioned him to join them.
<Pig[Trabajo]> Everyone wanted Sataporn Pornpromlikit on their side.
<Pig[Trabajo]> The poor little guy was so confused. |
#159049 (671/777) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jeremy> I remember the first time one of my friends got stoned....it was fucking great. he thought he wasn't feeling it, and we were playing tekken tag. He's sitting there cussing because his remote's not working, then we look over and his right hand isn't on the controller, it's in the bag of popcorn.
<Jeremy> He was twitching his hand IN THE BAG like he was trying to hit buttons
<pariah> LMFAO.
<pariah> That is awesome.
<Jeremy> He ended up winning the match because I fell out of my chair laughing at him and couldn't stop |
#62582 (669/831) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TwiZted> i got a 137,000 point drift on nfsu 2
<kmi> I have 513'812 KB of free swap space.
<TwiZted> nobody bloody cares
<kmi> that's exactly my point |
#70696 (668/818) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<triavox> dont. type. anything. teacher. looking. over. shoulder. freaking. me. out.
<triavox> ya lady i mean you
<triavox> no i wont do you the decency of turning around
<triavox> .. brb |
#302934 (666/810) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ted: Usually we get a virga rainfall here.
bob read that as viagra rainfall
ErinH: lol
Ted: sigh, bob
ian: "if you have rainfall lasting more than 4 hours, contact your weatherman"
Ted: heh
MichelleH: dare I ask what virga rainfall is?
bob: gah. now I have "it's raining men" stuck in my head
Ted: it's rain that evaporates before hitting the ground
ErinH: cool
bob: heh. premature evaporation. |
#87607 (666/806) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+r4v5> so i just learned that hank aaron was black
<+aydiosmio> was?
<+aydiosmio> he's still alive
<+r4v5> i just learned that hank aaron is alive |
#56459 (666/778) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@the_unknown> watching the history channel, tis a show on "the antichrist"
<@the_unknown> just went to a commericial break with the messag
<@the_unknown> message
<@the_unknown> "The antichrist is brought to you by Lexus"
<@bockman> haha |
#132907 (665/953) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[marquis] Vista on my wife's laptop takes up ~800MB of RAM X_X
[carbine] Get a new wife.. One that doesn't use Vista |
#103505 (665/837) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tonyyarusso> So I just went and looked at my Newegg order status, and saw a message I've never seen before:
<tonyyarusso> "THE PACKAGE IS DELAYED DUE TO A TRAIN DERAILMENT[X] " |
#95780 (664/954) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Apollo> my girlfriend just walked in on me masturbating to goatse =/
<Trinexx> And you wonder why she cheated on you...
<Apollo> ...how the hell do you know about that? |
#61997 (664/774) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vagrant> hey everyone
<Vagrant> I love you all
<Dylan> d'aww
<Vagrant> We may have our differences but in the end I know that you guys are friends for life
<Inkblot> I love you too,stranger?
<Goat> That really means a lot coming from you.
<hambone> thnx Vaggie :)
<Vagrant> fuck
<Vagrant> I was typing on the wrong line
<Vagrant> I wasn't talking to you bastards |
#308728 (660/706) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<myself> I'm reminded of alphawolf's story of tracking down some guy who was sending strange traffic, and turned out to live in the next town over.
<myself> Guy's personal website included a pic of himself holding a banana like a gun.
<myself> so, wolfie and Evil head over there, armed with bananas and an Ethereal printout. Bang on the door. Someone answers, looks like the guy in the pic.
<myself> <threatening banana-stance>TELNET POLICE. STOP PINGING GARGAMEL.</stance>
<myself> And they leave.
<myself> Stunned. Silence.
<myself> the packets stopped. |
#279763 (660/794) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Infidel> hey i have about 50+ foreighn ips connected to my comp
<Infidel> should i be worried?
<Sky> what port, what protocol?
* Infidel hat die Verbindung getrennt (Ping timeout)
<Sky> yes, you should be worried. |
#59732 (659/877) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Snags> Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
<Snags> "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."
<Snags> But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
<Snags> "Dave.....
<Snags> Dave.....
<Snags> Dave, you sick bastard
<Snags> You're a vet." |
#76066 (658/852) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Smokey> Me and this bitch are playing phone tag
<Smokey> Her mom answered
<Smokey> and she was like "Your going to have to call back, adam, Ive got to use the phone"
<Smokey> Then she didnt hang up, and started dialing numbers
<Smokey> Then stopped
<Smokey> and I was like, in a deeper voice "Hello"
<Smokey> And she was like "Hey, baby"
<Smokey> Then I just started laughing
<Smokey> And she was like Goddamnit |
#26234 (656/816) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise
(jonathans) when i hit it
(jonathans) it will go "COW"
(orion) cows go moo |
#244791 (655/863) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TerrorBite> Parse error: parse error, unexpected spanish inquisition in /var/www/index.php on line 51
<NotoriousOIT> bwaha
<kazin> I'm sure the author wasn't expecting that. |
#23 (654/1525) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Guilty> Oh god I just changed my pw and instantly forgot it |
#297766 (653/877) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@monkey> so, is anyone else going to update their resume with "5 year google beta tester"? |
#59014 (651/783) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Azio> Be wary of SEO firms that send you email out of the blue.
<Azio> Amazingly, we get these spam emails too:
<Azio> "Dear google.com,
<Azio> I visited your website and noticed that you are not listed in most of the major search engines and directories..." |
#61355 (648/762) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mack> i totally got pwned by a spider this morning
<mack> there has been this garden spider living in the kitchen of my house, and i don't care because when summer nears it gets hot so flies come in and bug me...so i let him stay
<mack> so anyways. i wake up and grab my smokes and head for the sliding door to go out and have a smoke
<mack> i'm two feet away from the door when i walk into his web, and it scares the shit out of me cause i'm still half asleep
<mack> i stumble back and bump into the couch, flip over it as i lose my footing, and my legs crash into the coffee table, effectively splitting it in two
<mack> i'm laying there figuring out what just happened, and the spider bites my nose!
<mack> like HE'S having a bad day :/ |
#294696 (647/835) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Catdaemon`> what does * do
<Ortzinator> everything |
#237075 (647/869) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yahoo> God, don't you hate it when the internet seems to be exhausted?
<Yahoo> The feeling that there's nothing left to do on it.
<Yahoo> Nevermind, found something |
#59016 (644/774) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FuriKuri> How do I turn off those stupid red lines in Microsoft Word?
<Chu> Type correctly?Comment: #nintendo @ irc.chatspike.net
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