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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..20212223242526..596Next> |
#310098* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Remember sixteen--when all the world was new and your life stretched before you like fresh snow waiting for your footprints? ~Peggy Toney Horton |
#310099* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ah, how quickly the hands on the clock circle toward the future we thought was far away! And how soon we become out mothers. |
#310102* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+micole> pauldev, do you wanna know the answer?
<@pauldev> oh, sorry
<@itsallvoodoo> this is a programming problem
<@itsallvoodoo> as a hint
<@pauldev> “pip pip oi, jesus, you round right now?"
<@pauldev> “ey mate yeah we need you to cleanse some wine"
<@pauldev> “does thou protest?"
<+micole> "Neigh" |
#310106* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< ~nza> step down, old man
< @sloth> fu
< ~nza> typical trailer park boy
< ~nza> ll @ u
< ~nza> step down, old man
< ~nza> jeff: the criminal world hates u
< ~nza> ur larry the cable guy act doesn't impress anyone
< ~nza> could u please mitt romney urself and just go back to your idyllic life and leave the internets alone?
-!- ~nza sets mode #gnaa +b sloth!sloth@ww88.org
-!- ~nza has kicked sloth from #gnaa (permaban: latent homosexual backwoods retard) |
#310111* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< theJUICE> PUBLIC SERIVCE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADMIN PRINNY DOESNT LET YOU LEAVE COMENTS
< Fizim> Well then
< theJUICE> PUBLIC SERIVCE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADMIN PRINNY DOESNT LET YOU LEAVE COMENTS
< Imbadatoot> KID STFU
< West0pher> wtf
< zackcat> exciting
<+prinny> you stfu
< theJUICE> PUBLIC SERIVCE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADMIN PRINNY DOESNT LET YOU LEAVE COMENTS
< theJUICE> PUBLIC SERIVCE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADMIN PRINNY DOESNT LET YOU LEAVE COMENTS
<+prinny> imbadatoot
* coppro leaves a coment around
< Altidorian> wait what doesnt admin prinny do i didnt catch that
<@Garrison> freedom of speech bro
< ChocoPoptart> oh goodie I love psa's
< theJUICE> PUBLIC SERIVCE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADMIN PRINNY DOESNT LET YOU LEAVE COMENTS
<+prinny> PUBLIC SERIVCE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADMIN PRINNY DOESNT LET YOU LEAVE COMENTSComment: no coment
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#310134* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Everything you do will soon attach to your life, no matter if you want it or not.
- Soban Rajathurai |
#310150* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
mikey85 | ok supybot didn't have anything
mikey85 | I pasted everything and nothing happened
mikey85 | I took both the eggdrop and supybot and put it in mIRC
mikey85 | and I didn't get anything :(
mikey85 | I put eddgrop in first, then supybot |
#310188* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zzo38> Finally I found the wand of electric lightning now we can destroy any large object if it needs to be destroyed and is required to use a such a wand for that purpose. |
#310193* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Birdulon> malinus have you whipped yourself for being white today?
<malinus> Birdulon, of course. But I only have to whip myself ½ as many times as you!Comment: malinus is half-black
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#310224* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bilde2910> I don't even.... <link to a screenshot of a folder on bilde2910's desktop called "Everything", showing everything from code files, icon files, torrents, raw statistical data and setup files to graphs, random vector graphics, QR codes, encrypted files and videos from his U.S. vacation several years ago, including things like "finally..htm" and "eat_dishwasher_tablets.swf", all in a single screen>
<bilde2910> There can't exist such a thing that's not in my Everything folder on my desktop.
<in_3D> in that folder lies every file that has existed and will exist
<@Shocky> <link to Wikipedia article on Russell's paradox>
<bilde2910> Oh that.
<+Gurkenmaster> Do you have a symlink that points to your everything folder in your everything folder?
<bilde2910> Uh... I don't think so, no
<+Gurkenmaster> Too bad
<+Gurkenmaster> I forgot how to symlink
<bilde2910> Let's say R is a list of all empty elements. R=(nothing) since no lists are empty. That means R should contain R, so R=R. Now, R isn't empty anymore, so R shouldn't contain R. Therefore it loops forever into a parafox. Did I understand it right?
<+Gurkenmaster> Yes but it won't loop by itself
<+Gurkenmaster> you have to loop manually so no paradox for you
<bilde2910> :(
<bilde2910> Samantha, give me a paradox.
* Samantha gives bilde2910 a paradox.
<bilde2910> See? I have a paradox!
<bilde2910> Thanks, Samantha
<+Samantha> my pleasure
* Gurkenmaster destroys Samantha's paradox
<+Samantha> arrgh! my paradox! now i only have 38 left
<bilde2910> Hey!
<+Gurkenmaster> Not enough paradoxes for everyone in this channel
<bilde2910> :(
* bilde2910 gives Samantha 94 paradoxes
* Samantha plays with her 94 paradoxes
* BlackMoon pokes Samantha in the paradox
<+Samantha> Ow! that was my secondary paradox :(
<+Gurkenmaster> s/paradox/pair o' socks/
<@Shocky> Ow! that was my secondary pair o' socks :(
<+BlackMoon> s/paradox/warp core/
<@Shocky> s/warp core/pair o' socks/
<+BlackMoon> ... doh
* BlackMoon pokes Samantha in the warp core
<+Samantha> Arrgh! my warp core! now i only have 46 left
<+Samantha> look, here in this box.
<bilde2910> If someone could just make me an awesome paradox...Comment: #risucraft on EsperNet
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#310245* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zzhk> armed with only a pink banana, victor fapped three men into submission?Comment: zzhk on victorrama
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#310312* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
@mrtux | fwilson: what do you use your old computers for/ @fwilson | mrtux: nothing much @mrtux | >not installing gentoo |
#310324* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kenny> they're remaking Point Break, it's due out in 2015
<MagicT> who's going to be “young, dumb and full of cum” in this version?
<yamsteaks> Madeleine McCann? |
#310329* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kenny> they're remaking “Point Break”, due out in 2015
<MagicT> who's going to be “young, dumb and full of cum” in this version?
<yam-steaks> Madeleine McCann? |
#310333* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Sometimes we miss out on beautiful moments in the present, because we are living in the past, and too busy worrying about the future |
#310334* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
If you believe you need to make some changes in your life do it for yourself, not because you feel obligated to please others |
#310335* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Sometimes it's not the things people do that make other people push away, it's the things they don't do |
#310385* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Be bold or italic. Never regular.
Artist Barbara Januszkiewicz |
#310424* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Terkanil> I lagged so hard that, trying to reduce lag and stop perspective changes, I removed my pants. |
#310429* (?/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Appreciate it for helping out, great information. bfkdgbkddafdbkdcComment: Appreciate it for helping out, great information. bfkdgbkddafdbkdc
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#310431* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
You: Hi
Stranger: Hello, I've just been replaced by somebody else.
You: uh?
You: in what way?
Stranger: I'm not the guy who started this conversation.
You: Technically you are
Stranger: I'm the other one.
Stranger: No, I got replaced.
Stranger: Just like I said.
You: Depends on how you frame your timeline
Stranger: Hello, I've just been replaced by somebody else.
You: yep, I'm sure you have
You: when's the funeral for the first one?
Stranger: I just got here.
Stranger: Who's funeral?
Stranger: You're kind of confusing?
You: "whose"
Stranger: Just ask about generic stuff like the other ones, this isn't part of our training programme.
You: ah, so you (plural) are located in the UK?
Stranger: Hi, now I'm back!
You: are not
Stranger: What?
You: Yes?
Stranger: Why?
You: Zed
Stranger: Hi Zed!
You: Lo Yu
Stranger: I heard you were all planning a funeral?
You: yeah, it's for the first guy who was on your end of the conversation. You replaced him because he's dead.
Stranger: Who died?
You: I dunno, he's on your end of the chat
Stranger: No he's not supposed to die until next Friday, you must have made a mistake.
You: Check your calendar. Next Friday was yesterday.
Stranger: Hi, I'm back! How was Trent?
You: Trent was excellent, thank you! We butchered him and ate him, and he was delicious.
Stranger: Good, good, glad to hear we haven't wasted our funding!
You: so tell me about your training programme
You: does it involve railroads?
Stranger: No, mostly it involves annoying people on omegle.
You: Oh, I'm sorry to be wasting your time, then. Should I be more upset?
Stranger: You shouldn't be anything, this is all a waste of time one way or the other.
Stranger: We're all a bunch of quitters we are.
Stranger: And so are you!
You: Hello, I've just been replaced by someone else.
Stranger: Next Friday!
You: That was yesterday. Try to keep up.
Stranger: But that was somebody else.
You: What was?
Stranger: No, wait... Trent?!?!
Stranger: I heard you got eaten by the proletariat!
You: There is no Trent, there is only Zuul.
Stranger: Wow, Dimitri will be so releaved!
You: "relieved"
Stranger: Zuul..? I must have missed out on a few e-mails.
You: unless Dimitri is a tree. .... *Is* Dimitri a tree?
You: oh wait, stupid question
Stranger: No, no. Check your inbox, it's "releaved" now. Try to keep up.
You: of course he is. That's why his name is Dimitree.
Stranger: Dimitri is a tree only if Zuul is the sign of a fish.
You: Let me check... Zuul is the sign of an eel. Does that count?
Stranger: Hi, I have been replaced by a great void!
You: I don't believe you're that great.
You: A minor void, maybe.
Stranger: great....reat....reat...
Stranger: aybe...aybe...aybe...
You: Tch. Uncreative.
Stranger: ive..ive..ive..
You: If you're going to be Echo, do you want me to be Narcissus?
Stranger: issus...issus...issus...
You: I wonder, what letters would you repeat if I told you that I was through
Stranger: ough..ough..ough..
You: that's very thorough
Stranger: ough..ough..ough..
You: being an echo must be tough
Stranger: ough..ough..ough..
You: are you okay? You sound like you have a cough.
Stranger: ough..ough..ough..
You: I should take you to the farm and hitch you to a plough
Stranger: So, we agree to a draw yes?
You: more of a sculpt, really
Stranger: We're well passed three time repetition.
Stranger: I'll call the arbiter.
You: so which one of us is Guildenstern, and which is Rosencrantz?
Stranger: Yes, good, scoresheets signed.
Stranger: You can be both, be all you can be!
You: and cosigned
You: since, after all, this conversation has been one great tangentComment: sometimes omegle is just wonderful
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#310440* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[TBL]Dr.Paranoid!
Applied for the police exam.
Failed the "shoot/don't shoot situation" simulator.
Which is a big surprise to me because I ended with a 97/0 Kill Death ratio.Comment: awesome
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#310451* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SonikkuAmerica> The terminal guy, huh?
<SonikkuAmerica> eagles0513875_@phillw-irc:~$
<eagles0513875_> SonikkuAmerica: ?
<SonikkuAmerica> bash: SonikkuAmerica:: command not found
<SonikkuAmerica> :P
<eagles0513875_> haha
<eagles0513875_> bashing you sounds good
<SonikkuAmerica> lolz
<wxl> morning ladies
* SonikkuAmerica isn't a lady, so he doesn't reply to <wxl>
* wxl notes that SonikkuAmerica, in his attempt to not reply to him, did anyways
* eagles0513875_ bashes <wxl> with some bash scripts
* wxl bites back with python
* SonikkuAmerica gives everyone a C
* eagles0513875_ dodges the python and bytes back with some c#
<eagles0513875_> haha SonikkuAmerica
<SonikkuAmerica> C for effort
<eagles0513875_> C++ for me no SonikkuAmerica
<eagles0513875_> :P
<SonikkuAmerica> Ew, C ...
<eagles0513875_> haha
<wxl> god, guys don't overthink it
<SonikkuAmerica> I knew my life as a programmer was screwed when I learned C++
<wxl> it's BASIC
<eagles0513875_> call me crazy but im interested in learning it for sure
* wxl reaches for a cup of Java
* SonikkuAmerica barricades himself in his FORTRAN
* wxl talks with a Lisp
* SonikkuAmerica protects the hidden Perl in his FORTRAN
<phillw> curses, pulled the wrong drive out of piglet!
* wxl olha para a Lua
<SonikkuAmerica> ncurses, or lcurses?
<wxl> ↑ that one probably stumps you
* wxl shines his Ruby
* wxl is having a Brainfuck
* wxl brings this conversation to a Clojure
<phillw> I was having one I pulled the wrong drive out of piglet before it went hospital :(
<wxl> phillw: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck
<wxl> needless to say, i doubt you were ;)
<phillw> wxl: no, mine was more literal :P
<wxl> more or less? :)
* SonikkuAmerica hasn't completed his Objective-C so there is no Clojure
<wxl> hah
* SonikkuAmerica rides wxl's Ruby on a Rail
<wxl> uh oh SonikkuAmerica pulls ahead
<wxl> enough of this Smalltalk
<wxl> FTW
* SonikkuAmerica hits wxl with a .bat
<wxl> oh that's just bad
<SonikkuAmerica> wxl: Oh .sh-hhhhh!
<wxl> from here on Forth i'll have none of this <SonikkuAmerica>
<wxl> just Go!
<SonikkuAmerica> I could Yacc on all day
<SonikkuAmerica> :D
<wxl> Julia would not approve
<SonikkuAmerica> Her affections were always for JSON
<wxl> you're getting really Rust -y, pal.
<SonikkuAmerica> lolz
* SonikkuAmerica raises the white flag
<wxl> you are clearly not Swift enough
<wxl> ah ha!
* wxl does the victory dance
<SonikkuAmerica> This chat... was awesome. :D
<wxl> hehehehe
<wxl> you know if this were 20 years ago that would have ended up in a text file somewhere
<SonikkuAmerica> I should privlog this
*** Later....
<SonikkuAmerica> ... someday you'll see this on QDB and you'll have forgotten we had this convoComment: #phillw on irc.freenode.net
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#310517* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Juddily> who brutally bludgeoned to death banjo kazooie with his own limp penis
<CorgiSquidman> Juddily: are you still talking about zynga |
#310518* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<c8h10n4o2> The Hogfather. HO.HO.HO.
<MinkOWar> My favourite christmas story
<stellarsleigh> wish i had a sword when i was a child man
<stellarsleigh> BLACK ZELDA
<stellarsleigh> i was playing around with this actual iron sword on halloween
<General_Vagueness> you mean Link
<stellarsleigh> ..
<stellarsleigh> did i really
<stellarsleigh> just
<General_Vagueness> yep
<Lucifer7> link is the princess you dumbass
* stellarsleigh sets ban on *!*blonk@*.dont.think.it.be.like.it.is.but.it.do
<BoarderX> MAYBE HE WANTED TO BE THE BLACK PRINCESS
* stellarsleigh (blonk@they.dont.think.it.be.like.it.is.but.it.do) has left
<Lucifer7> our long national nightmare is finally overComment: #moap, Adelais
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