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AllBestWeekMonthRandom<Prev123456..313Next> |
#309014* (?/29) ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> I find it somewhat terrible that after taking 8 years of german, plus studying on my own time now that I'm out of school, I still make completely awful jokes that revolve around replacing as many words in a sentence with Ach as possible...
<cjk> It's fine. After spending 25 years here growing up, whenever you do it on skype, I'm never entirely sure if you're speaking gibberish, or just a dialect I'm not familiar at all with.
<cjk> ...which kind of makes me sad at my own language. |
#309660* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<Mootp> got a cunt load of physics questions if anyones interested :D
<toastydeath> most vaginas are about 4" deep related and can accommodate 1.5" or so in diameter without much pain
<toastydeath> so you have about 28" cubic inches of questions |
#310973* (?/21) ⚐Flag
<BtbN> I never broke anything so far. Except for my right small toe. That one i broke like 3 times on the same door.
<NanoSector> Lol
<mathieui> you must really dislike that door
<NanoSector> Or the door must really dislike him
<BtbN> I disliked it so much I moved out |
#310940* (?/21) ⚐Flag
<@TheGiz> We should invent a product that's like spray paint for kids
<@TheGiz> I don't know what that product would be, but I can hear the announcero n the commercial saying "It's like spray paint... for kids!"
<Nathan_Tanuki> Water-washable spray paint
<Feenicks> So... non-toxic and water-soluble?
<Nathan_Tanuki> Non-toxic might be going a little far ;)
<@TheGiz> I was going to say I won't sign off on water soluble
<Bob_the_Hamster> The dirt just slides off! I hardly ever have to bathe them anymore, and when I do it is a quick splash with the garden hose, Child Lacquer (TM) has changed my life!
<@TheGiz> hahahah
<Nathan_Tanuki> Haha
<Bob_the_Hamster> Now available in a whole rainbow of colors, or original transparent
<Bob_the_Hamster> It's like spray paint.... for kids!
<Feenicks> What happens if you put it on when they're still a bit dirty, though?
<Bob_the_Hamster> My Wife: "Why are the children green!? What did you do?"
<@TheGiz> Happy St. Patricks day?
<Bob_the_Hamster> Me: "Isn't it great?" (splashes a cup of grape juice into infant's face) "See? everything slides right off!"
<@TheGiz> hahah
<Bob_the_Hamster> My Wife: "This is going in the deposition" |
#311624* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<YelseyKing> Movie Crossovers We Don't Need #9273894673: "Nightmare on 34th Street". |
#306739* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<Vivisector> Enlightenment++
<Vivisector> Do like, A+++++++ would reconfigure for hours again
<echoed> what?
<Vivisector> Enlightenment window manager
<echoed> 16 or 17?
<Vivisector> 16.999
<Vivisector> no i'm not trolling
<Vivisector> that's the actual version number |
#297622* (?/27) ⚐Flag
Bot190: Firefox is complaining that opening 17 tabs might slow it down
Warchamp7: I have 25+ tabs open most of the time
Warchamp7: My Firefox doesn't complain
Warchamp7: It doesn't say a thing
Warchamp7: And it when it crashes, it apologizes
Warchamp7: That's how a browser should be |
#311026* (?/12) ⚐Flag
<early90spants> someone's playing the worst fucking music on our office speakers
<Dixioli> cowboy christmas?
<early90spants> first it was a song from that fucking linkin park jay-z bullshit and now they're playing the thong song
<Dixioli> or worse
<Dixioli> oh boy
<early90spants> i'm in hell
<early90spants> i'm just gonna leave 20 minutes early, i can't take this shit. i'm out
<early90spants> NOW THEY'RE PLAYING CREED
<early90spants> i just sent an email to HR
<H> "Dear HR. This music sucks. I'm going home. Mail me my paycheck. ~Signed: Pants." |
#310893* (?/12) ⚐Flag
xxx:My younger brother called me a child demoversion;_;
yyy:What do you expect from a backup copy?Comment: siblings
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#309334* (?/26) ⚐Flag
(Duck) kim: You're from Toronto, aren't you.
(Duck) Aren't you, kim.
<-- Quits: kim [Ping timeout: 186 seconds]
--> Joins: [kim_ (~IRIS@mwf-644-222-71-528.tor.primus.ca) to #ext3]
(kim_) Now none of you can see where I live. The screen has been cleared. :3
-!- kim_ has changed nicknames to kim
(Doc) just because you clear your screen doesn't mean other screens get cleared. some people even have logs
(kim) Why wasn't I informed of this. D: |
#309049* (?/19) ⚐Flag
(a conversation started about somebody who discovered that his wife was having an affair with an employee of his, in an IT workplace)
[starbuck] i wanna respond with something like "make your wife private"
[fever] if she's a hipster tell him to make her abstract
[starbuck] he's not a hipster definitely
[starbuck] he's someone's superior
[starbuck] i guess he can have the final word
[fever] well he can't keep working like this... he needs a static work environment
[starbuck] i think he should handle it with class
[fever] //to-do: something with a code pun
[fever] nothing comes to mind right now
[starbuck] do you think that if he forgives her she will return?
[fever] i don't know, maybe he sees women as objects
[starbuck] i wonder why she cheated on him
[starbuck] maybe he's not her type
[fever] true, maybe she just made an exception by dating him in the first place
[fever] dude
[fever] i told vangelis and he asked
[fever] "did he catch them on the act?"
[starbuck] if he had, it could have ended with double penetration
[fever] i think that's out of bounds
[starbuck] you think she's not sexually attracted to her husband anymore?
[starbuck] perhaps
[starbuck] perhaps she has the employee for sex and the husband is just a good listener
[fever] oh god
[fever] that was awesome
[fever] the setup
[fever] the finishing line
[fever] good work dude
[starbuck] we're horrible
[starbuck] we're laughing at his expense
[starbuck] that poor guy must feel a terrible void
[fever] well he went and made his problem public, you can't blame us
[starbuck] that's true
[starbuck] i just hope they had protected sex
[fever] should we just ask him later for an update?
[fever] or maybe he should just fuck other women to get it out of his system
[starbuck] i don't know if i agree
[starbuck] these things usually need a very specific method
[fever] true, there are many variables to take into consideration
[starbuck] exactly
[starbuck] for starters, an issue like this easily extends into the workplace
[fever] i might be out of puns for the moment
[starbuck] so it has come to this
[starbuck] this is what it looks like
[fever] super(yes)
[starbuck] damn
[starbuck] how do you think it all happened anyway?
[starbuck] how did they even meet?
[starbuck] perhaps she came to the husband's workplace wearing only a string?
[fever] fuck
[fever] SOMETHING WITH INTEGER
[starbuck] ah, i don't know about that
[starbuck] considering she left her husband who's the boss for a mere employee
[starbuck] i'd say we are dealing with a long
[fever] maybe he just needs a new wife
[fever] //so simple... why didn't i think of this before
[starbuck] but i'm curious
[starbuck] does the other guy have a long penis?
[starbuck] or a sixpack?
[starbuck] or is he smart?
[starbuck] or maybe he has all of the above
[starbuck] maybe he has the whole package
[fever] well maybe it's good
[fever] maybe they should take a break
[starbuck] oh nice
[starbuck] i didn't expect that
[starbuck] i don't think i can handle it
[fever] you should try at least
[starbuck] i am
[starbuck] but i'm afraid my puns are becoming too generic
[fever] and i think i'm using the same ones over and over
[fever] we're in a loop
[starbuck] true |
#311539* (?/19) ⚐Flag
<dgriffi> some whackadoodle is putting antivax screeds into stuff at a Babies R Us store down in Lynwood
<Silent700> I think VMS is a little advanced for infants
<dgriffi> heh
<Branes> Yeah, they're still in nappies so they get pee dee pee.
<qu1j0t3> *groan*
<qu1j0t3> they can yell in all eight registers, that's for sure |
#309364* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Tak> Also there was this little fat kid
<Tak> who was in there for his first time
<Tak> and he sits down in the holding cell
<Tak> and asks the guy next to him, "is it really as bad in here as they show on TV?"
<Tak> and everyone in the room just stopped talking and looked at him
<Tak> I have NEVER seen anyone hazed so badly
<Tak> Within 10 minutes, they had him believing he was gonna get raped.
<Tak> He only moved around the room with his back against the wall.
<Tak> There was this old junkie in there named Chuck, who just looks like a total rapist, and they told him that chuck likes little white boys.
<Tak> and Chuck is just eying him up and down, then the guy telling him all this shit is telling the kid he will protect him and shit.
<Tak> so he tells the kid to "come here"
<Tak> and the kid just skootches across the floor on his butt toward the guy
<Tak> and everyone just starts laughing so hardComment: Protip: Tak just got out of jail. irc.rubbermallet.org #wtfpwnt
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#309732* (?/38) ⚐Flag
<~Cynical> If it comes down to it and the need to smoke is really high, I'm pretty sure I could make a fire and sterilize a shoe to make a bowl out of that, but I wouldn't want to do that
<~Cynical> being an eagle scout makes crafting bowls and bongs so much easieer
< Teryakywind|Molly> holy shit another eagle scout?
< Teryakywind|Molly> you have no idea how many stoners I've met that are eagle scouts
< Teryakywind|Molly> what troop were ya with?
< me-tan> I'm no scout, but I can improvise a lot of stuff
<~Cynical> 246
<~Cynical> I met one of my smoking buddies there. Actually, he's the one who introduced me to pot
< Teryakywind|Molly> 427 here
< Teryakywind|Molly> Ours was the fuck-up troop :P
< Teryakywind|Molly> the ones constantly in trouble at summer camp for shit like chasing flocks of turkeys off cliffs
< me-tan> lol wut
< Teryakywind|Molly> seriously
<&Anonyfurb_> That's pretty hilarious.
< Teryakywind|Molly> we wiped out the entire population of turkeys on the east side of Gus Blass
< Teryakywind|Molly> to this day you will only hear them over near the trading postComment: gobblegoooooooo~~~~~
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#310144* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<@DrtySOUTH> BTW
<@DrtySOUTH> There's going to be a live documentary this weekend.
<@DrtySOUTH> Apparently a group is going to dig up the cache of E.T. cartridges, live.
<@Taryn> cool.
<@DrtySOUTH> They're portraying this as "unearthing an ancient tomb".
<@Taryn> 1983 is now ancient? O_O
<@YelseyKing> Haw.
<@Nicole> oh I heard about that
<@Nicole> I thought all the cartridges were bulldozed and such
<@DrtySOUTH> Dunno.
<@DrtySOUTH> Apparently not.
<@Nicole> well then
<@Nicole> I hope it ends with them playing the game and then deciding to cover it all up again |
#302821* (?/11) ⚐Flag
<noka>How is to Hentai AMV coming?
<gizz>:(
<noka>what happend
<gizz>his part failed
<gizz> so no i'm working on both
<noka> ok let me recap
<noka>You where both doing it together
<noka>Then his part failed
<noka>And now you have to finish yourself?
<gizz>Yes :PComment: :P
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#302809* (?/11) ⚐Flag
Foxhound: So, you're 18. You can do everything now.
Foxhound: Even drink, which I can't legally do yet.
Foxhound: Stupid US and it's culture of drinking til you can't stand up.
Foxhound: I blame our English/Irish heritage.
Foxhound: I mean, in Ireland, you can farm, drink, and occasionally shoot at the Catholics/Protestants. Not much else to do there. England is much the same, minus the religious strife, plus the soccer hooligans. |
#310726* (?/3) ⚐Flag
<@Duns_Scrotus> ##electronics is not happy with my realization that GaAs should be pronounced "gay ass" |
#303719* (?/49) ⚐Flag
Life247> Does anyone here know much about Gimp the imaging program?
<remaniac> I know that paint.NET is easier than GIMP
<Gimp> why on earth is everyone obsessed with image editing in this bloody channel?
<Yanni> Hahaha.
<Gimp> Seriously. I'm in around 20 channels on various networks, and this is the ONLY ONE that I get random pings from.
<Gimp> Hell, I'm in channels dedicated to discussing open source software and I get next to no notifications from those that aren't aimed at me
<Gimp> I think I need to case sensitize my notifications.
<remaniac> Hahaha.
<remaniac> That would help a bit. But Life used Gimp, whereas I used GIMP. so...
* ska (ben@scave-3BA85BDD.static.tpgi.com.au) has joined #n
<ska> hey, are there any image makers in the audience?
<ska> i need a wallpaper pronto |
#301706* (?/48) ⚐Flag
<the_seraphim> ive taped up all my fingers... so my nails heal before they fall off
<the_seraphim> makes it... different, to type
<Capn_Refsmmat> err
<Capn_Refsmmat> what exactly did you do to them?
<the_seraphim> several things...
<the_seraphim> remember our discussion about strong bases and skin
<Capn_Refsmmat> were you the one snubbing gloves?
<the_seraphim> aye captain
<Capn_Refsmmat> oh dear.
<Capn_Refsmmat> and how did that go for you?
<the_seraphim> well... got some on my fingers, went "oww!" shook my hands and smacked them on a wall
<the_seraphim> ive still got... some skin
<Capn_Refsmmat> shaking hands works wonders for getting chemicals off, I understand
<Capn_Refsmmat> far better than things like sinks
<the_seraphim> well i then went to a sink...
<the_seraphim> hence why ive still got /some/ skin left
<Capn_Refsmmat> invest in any gloves yet?
<the_seraphim> yeah.... huge rubber gauntlets |
#311634* (?/42) ⚐Flag
<&castalia> snek-sensei: i almost aborted myself
<&castalia> IRL no joke
<@snek-sensei> nice
<@snek-sensei> thats hardcore
<&castalia> i was born premature
<&castalia> umbilical cord got wrapped around my neck
<@snek-sensei> wow you tried to hang yourself while aborting yourself
<@snek-sensei> thats fucking metal dude
<&castalia> before i even entered this world i was already trying to kill myself |
#307112* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<Snooper> Shade: I like my women how I like my coffee.
<Snooper> I don't like coffee.
<Snooper> Makes me sick. :cComment: Snooper is incredibly homosexual
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#108213* (?/47) ⚐Flag
[*map/map_index_cn6_f21.txt||10||r||1|| @]Comment: [*map/map_index_cn6_f21.txt||10||r||1|| @]
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#110282* (?/47) ⚐Flag
[*map/map_all_coml5.txt||10||r||1|| @]Comment: [*map/map_all_coml5.txt||10||r||1|| @]
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#111944* (?/47) ⚐Flag
[*map/map_index_cnx1_1_tmp.txt||10||r||1|| @]Comment: [*map/map_index_cnx1_1_tmp.txt||10||r||1|| @]
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