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#311449* (?/33) ⚐Flag
<GiMP> pffft you guys couldn't have this
<Talgie> you're already hard to want, you don't need to play hard to get |
#234487* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Matthew> Eh, logged out already
<Matthew> Watching Wall-E
<AaronIsFab> It's not too bad
<Matthew> I don't get why girls think he's so cute.
<AaronIsFab> its an excuse to watch it
<Rsd95> i think they think the way he talks is cute or something
<Rsd95> the weird noises and what not
<Matthew> Must be a vibrator thing.
<Rsd95> probably |
#310165* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Taneb> Question:
<Taneb> What's a dew point?
<boily> it's the temperature an object needs to be for condensation to appear.
<pikhq> Temperature at which water vapor in the air condenses into liquid water.
<pikhq> i.e. the temperature at which dew forms.
<Taneb> OK
<Taneb> Doesn't look like there'll be a dew today, then
<boily> I mean, it's all according to current conditions. you always need to chill that object down from ambient temperature for dew to appear.
<boily> (or, be in the morning, as in, like, you know, regular dew.)
<oerjan> if the dewpoint is higher than the temperature, you're having a flood hth
<pikhq> Yes. If the dewpoint is higher than the ambient temperature it means the air is actually water. |
#303656* (?/72) ⚐Flag
<Rican boy87>: my dick is like Inception
<Rican boy87>: just keeps going deeper and deeper.
<GOLD SWORD>: then you wake up |
#304451* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<mikemike> massive fail
<mikemike> put mail() on wrong line
<mikemike> just emailed myself 1273 times |
#301772* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<Matazar> haha, so I found this girls profile on some dating site
<Matazar> her about me started off with:
<Matazar> "I am me, me I am! Do I like green eggs and ham? Do I like them on this couch? Do I eat them from a pouch? Do I like them with some punch? Do I eat them just for lunch? I guess you'll have to ask and see, and come to have some green with me!"
<Matazar> So I just sent her a message with the subject:
<Matazar> "I does not like green eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat." |
#311084* (?/15) ⚐Flag
<rikai> digitalcircuit: Also, unrelatedly, is the ircbutt site you list in your PR down or something? I can't get it to resolve. :o
<digitalcircuit> ...whoops.
-*- digitalcircuit disabled Cloud2Butt.
<digitalcircuit> *disables
<rikai> LOL
<rikai> thats the best messup ever :P
<digitalcircuit> Fixed.
<digitalcircuit> I knew it'd bite me in the cloud one day, but it makes business-buzzwordy websites a bit more bearable otherwise :) |
#310847* (?/15) ⚐Flag
<Lore> "Hell," an aged preist once told me, "Is a place where there is lots of wonderful food, but the people are starving, because they have no elbows and can't bend their arms to feed themselves."
<Lore> "And what of Heaven?" I asked. "Heaven," he replied, "is exactly the same. Except they have elbows."
<CrazyClimber> but they could feed each other in hell
<Lore> No, there's a bunch of demons with whips that smack them around if they try that. What, you think after thousands of years of starvation they didn't think of that?
<zompist> wait, if heaven is exactly the same except for the elbows, then there are demons with whips in heaven too.
<Lore> Uh.
<Lore> LOOK A FIRE ENGINE! |
#311390* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<theblazehen> I should really learn perl sometime
<andrewlsd> ^ that's what he sed |
#306632* (?/46) ⚐Flag
<Drag> In the US, you can say ass, and you can say hole
<Drag> but you absolutely cannot say "asshole"
<Drag> you will get bleeped
<Rena> what if you're referring to the hole an ass is in
<Rena> "that's the hole where we keep the asses. the ass hole."
<devin> at that point you are charged with animal cruelty for keeping livestock inside of a hole
<Rena> well maybe it's a very big hole
<Drag> It must've taken a lot of work to get the ass hole that big |
#307260* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<HarryD> well shit
<HarryD> that girl that i went on a date with?
<B1naryth1ef> yes
<HarryD> wants to "head my log"
<B1naryth1ef> Why shit?
<HarryD> by log she meant penis
<HarryD> (i hope)
<B1naryth1ef> Or ya know, she has a lumberjack fetish
<cITs> why would she want to read old entries of your logfiles?Comment: #anapnea
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#304863* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<Hbomb> .seen zelse
<feepbot> Hbomb: I have last seen zelse 45 weeks, 3 days ago saying "well that was a disturbing mental image".
<Constie> It really bothered him a lot. |
#302958* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<Unosuke> how does one go about cureing insecurity?
<Holst_> I hate this approach but it's really true (in most cases): Face your fears Uno
<Unosuke> but i wanna fix myself BEFORE I actually do anything D:
<Holst_> That's what I hate about the approach
<mark> Unosuke: there's also watering your scrotum till you grow a pair. |
#311330* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<G-Flex> a scammer just called my cell phone. Let's see where this goes
<G-Flex> lmao "Mr. Johnny Wilson"
<G-Flex> he's the "general manager"
<G-Flex> of the publisher's clearinghouse.
<G-Flex> I won a cherry red Mercedes! And a check for $1.5 Million!
<Shydow> lol
<Firestarter> Can I lend $5
<G-Flex> wow
<G-Flex> I tried playing along and he still thought I was messing with him
<G-Flex> he told me to get a pen and paper, and a few seconds later I was like, yeah, what do you want me to copy down
<Firestarter> Haha
<G-Flex> so he accused me of playing games because nobody could get a pen that fast!!!
<Sme> no one would ever answer their phone at their desk right
<Mrgary> what is notepad
<Keenan> I've always wanted to get one of those and flip it around.
<G-Flex> yeah I was like "I'm sitting at my computer, I can write down anything you want"
<Keenan> Be like "You know, it's a good thing you called. I'm Bob from Microsoft and your computer has a virus!"
<G-Flex> he wanted me to get a moneygram made out to a Kenneth Jones in Wichita, Kansas
<G-Flex> for $100
<G-Flex> so I could get a receipt, to show to the publisher's clearinghouse guys
<Sme> you should get right on that
<G-Flex> after a few more minutes I told him that it was nice I could waste that much of his time, and asked if there was any way I could possibly waste more of it
<Shydow> "Unfortunately, all my money is tied up right now. If you can advance me $100 right now, I could get access to my nigerian fortune"
<G-Flex> and that if he manages to scam anyone, it's probably going to be some old lady who doesn't know better, and that's kind of sad
<G-Flex> I love the idea that I'd have to send a $100 moneygram to someone in order to /claim/ over a million dollars.
<G-Flex> he hung up on me :(
<Keenan> I have a friend who is still sour with me because I didn't lend him money for that very same scam a few years back.
<G-Flex> the sad thing is, people fall for this stuff
<G-Flex> a customer of ours was talking to "Microsoft" who wanted her to pay them in iTunes gift cards.
<G-Flex> she bought the freaking cards before someone told her "yeah that's probably a scam" |
#302352* (?/9) ⚐Flag
lonestarnorth: so i had lunch at the mall today
lonestarnorth: i like to do that on mondays so i don't have to make my own lunch, ie can sleep in
lonestarnorth: and i was walking back
lonestarnorth: now, picture a guy 20 something years old
lonestarnorth: walking ahead of you
lonestarnorth: say he was walking past a store window
lonestarnorth: and suddenly he noticed there were BOOBS in that store window
lonestarnorth just as he was passing
lonestarnorth: imagine the look he would make
Scaramouche: heh, okay.
lonestarnorth: i saw an old guy do that
Scaramouche: LOL
lonestarnorth: but for a sale on sweater vests
lonestarnorth: not boobs
Scaramouche: ...
lonestarnorth: i guess your priorities really do change when you get older |
#308361* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Jeck> That's pretty much the opposite of my opinion. There's a time and a place for drugs, but a situation where you might die if you're not smart/careful enough is not one.
<Jeck> I might be biased, too. The time I had pot I had such an extreme reaction I hallucinated choirs of angels singing death metal while I shivered and threw up on a bathroom floor. |
#311643* (?/42) ⚐Flag
[RjxLAPTOP] i audio taped my shroom experience
[RjxLAPTOP] but when we played the tape back later
[RjxLAPTOP] it was just me saying "
[RjxLAPTOP] er
[RjxLAPTOP] "dude, we should eat THERE"
[RjxLAPTOP] everywhere we went
[RjxLAPTOP] like, every few minutes
<thc\ip> hahaComment: #orkut EFNET
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#308129* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> seatbelts and hard nipples don't mix |
#296885* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Raine Sabaal> FUCK!
<Raine Sabaal> FUCK TEH INTERNET!!!
<Uuxaul> What is the internet doing?
<Raine Sabaal> I get a LOADING INDICATOR while sending messages on my INSTANT MESSENGER!
<Raine Sabaal> THAT'S NOT HOW INSTANT WORKS! |
#311092* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<DrBadAss>Lessee... the Republican party is in disarray, divided by an offshoot reactionary group, spearheaded by men who pander to the least common denominator and say and do the most ridiculous things imaginable, directly flaunting the Constitution, and proving on a daily basis they're incapable of compromise, and that their only goal is to take down their opponent at the expense of the country's welfare and proper operation.
<DrBadAss> We Democrats have a CLEAR shot at this. It's going to be really interesting to see how we go about f#@%ing it up. |
#311649* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<alecxe> should i keep declaring chocolate as "food" when bringing it into the US?
[...]
<david> Chocolate, being a thing eaten by humans, is indeed "food." |
#301546* (?/59) ⚐Flag
<%Noxy> Then again, it's not like the USA NEEDS people to be enemies. They can go to war with concepts. |
#304362* (?/59) ⚐Flag
<Dr_BadSpoon> the internet's best and worst attribute? it gives EVERYONE a voice
* Spawn sets mode -v #dynasty Dr_BadSpoon |
#302214* (?/82) ⚐Flag
<@CaptainJistuce> I've noticed several J covers are very minimal and subdued while the US covers are an explosion of color.
<Drakkar> thats because americans have ADHD
<Drakkar> also AD&D
<@CaptainJistuce> AD&HD? That could be the most disastrous tabletop game ev- oooh, shiny! |
#302064* (?/91) ⚐Flag
<slywolf99> i got one. whats worse than a baby in a bucket?
<zenthan> ?
<slywolf99> a baby in two buckets
<zenthan> your not allowed near my child ever |