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#304426* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<vertigo> I think amazon thinks I'm a woman :(
<vertigo> just e-mailed me about fuzzy boots and fuzzy crocs :((((
<Bob_McBob> Well at least they don't suggest little girls' panties to you like Sears does to me
<vertigo> well I might be interested in those...
<vertigo> at least more so than this
<vertigo> uhhhhhh
<vertigo> I mean |
#300470* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<Kamu> [link to an SMBC comic depicting a man "evolving" his hand into a knife, making fun of creationist misinterpretations of evolution]
<Thomas> Now see, why would [he] evolve his hand into another knife? Surely he'd form a gun?
<Est`ina> Hm. Could have formed some sort of hard chitinous growth or something within a cavity that eventually breaks off and can be stored or released.... and said cavity can act sort of like a firing tube for some kind of air or chemical based reaction...
<Thomas> Better idea: starts out as a mechanism to disperse reproductive particles - the chitin fragments on impact and is thrown. The explosive is adapted from a noxious respiratory byproduct a la the bombardier beetle, added to the pellet to add force. The barrel develops secondarily to improve aim as the reproductive pellet is useful for attacking foes, and bam, you have evolved a gun.
<Est`ina> You do realize this sounds sorta like some kind of dick cannon, right?
<Thomas> Yes. Yes I do. What else is going to serve as the firing pin?
<Est`ina> So it actually equates male reproductive structures with firearms. Wonderful.
<Fate> DAMMIT STOP MAKING ME THINK OF ZARDOZ
<Thomas> Fate probably approves of the idea of a peniscannon. A dick-derringer. A Heckler-and-Cock.
<Thomas> Of course, you could always have it the other way around. A revulva, if you will.
<Shiro> the phrase 'showing off your guns' will never be the same again
<Est`ina> Also, you can now equate target shooting with babies and not offend anybody.
<Thomas> CZ-69.
<Est`ina> Smith & Vas Deferens?
<Thomas> Not so much 10mm as 10-inch.
<Zress> we can see that the lot of you are effective Pungeon Masters. |
#297094* (?/36) ⚐Flag
Starsinger> So earlier today I learned a valuable lesson
Edea> use a condom
Flickerdart> Never trust a chinaman with a scheme?
Starsinger> Close
Starsinger> When you're wearing pajama pants without underwear, make sure the fly has a button
Starsinger> I'm not sure what the cashier at walgreens thought |
#302528* (?/14) ⚐Flag
<AntiCheer> know what I like?
<Reider> sex
<Winterreiser> sex
<SplinterOfChaos> sex
<AntiCheer> ...
<SplinterOfChaos> No?
<Reider> I love you guys right now. |
#309502* (?/13) ⚐Flag
<`ReM> all i'm saying is that you could probably replace the word "psychopath" with "lawyer" in any of the academic literature, and it'd fit just fine. |
#302575* (?/14) ⚐Flag
<Gafwyn> the concept on m night shymalan doing a dead serious live-action version of a nick toon is one of the most surreal things ive ever encountered
<Gafwyn> i hope Quentin Tarantino’s Spongebob Squarepants is next |
#310082* (?/79) ⚐Flag
* SpaceWizard is now known as DigitalSeuss
<DigitalSeuss> here's an easy game to play.
<DigitalSeuss> here's an easy thing to say.
<DigitalSeuss> If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
<DigitalSeuss> And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
<DigitalSeuss> And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
<DigitalSeuss> Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
<DigitalSeuss> If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
<DigitalSeuss> And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
<DigitalSeuss> And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
<DigitalSeuss> Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
<DigitalSeuss> You can't say this? What a shame sir!
<DigitalSeuss> We'll find you another game sir.
<DigitalSeuss> If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
<DigitalSeuss> Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
<DigitalSeuss> But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
<DigitalSeuss> That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
<DigitalSeuss> And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss...
<DigitalSeuss> So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse..
<DigitalSeuss> Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
<DigitalSeuss> 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, this sucker's gonna hang!
<DigitalSeuss> When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
<DigitalSeuss> And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
<DigitalSeuss> Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM!
<DigitalSeuss> Quickly, turn off the computer, and be sure to tell your mom!
* DigitalSeuss bows, drops the mic, exits stage left. |
#306462* (?/49) ⚐Flag
<+Three> She was like "We could get a 1 bed and share" and I was like "Uh... no". No privacy, can't fucking wank with her around. >.<
<+Ricki> what? you idiot
<+Trinexx> LOL WAT
<+Three> How am I an idiot? >.>
<+Three> She's not rideable Ricki.
<+Trinexx> SHE WANTED YOUR D, BROComment: lulz
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#306761* (?/49) ⚐Flag
Xhu sets topic: #derpfishia! | Riots defeated by rain and Operation Cup of Tea. God, we really are British, aren't we? |
#306210* (?/49) ⚐Flag
<+JoshManders> I went on a blind date once. Her name was .::. ..:. .::.:.. . .:. |
#296091* (?/40) ⚐Flag
* Netram joined #quakelive
<Netram>: guys i've been robbed
<Netram>: I went to see the Dragonball film |
#309875* (?/103) ⚐Flag
(was gonna put this in the comment field, but it's too long)
It's been about a year since I last logged on to QDB, yet I still recognise the last 15 (out of 30) quotes on the top "Latest" page from reading them on that last access. And that's an improvement on the previous where I went about as long and there was maybe two new quotes, if any.
But, there's almost 10,000 "fermenting" in the queue. Literally. 9,815 right now, to be exact.
What the heck is going on, chaps? Perhaps the standards of what makes it out of the queue need to be relaxed slightly so the site doesn't die a stagnant death?Comment: cuz, like, srsly
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#311630* (?/34) ⚐Flag
<@Rothen> .c 1 square lightyear in square centimeters
<%topkek_2000> Oops: Ran out of units of quantity lightyear (imaginary)
<+woodcat> wolfram alpha that
<@snek-sensei> wolfram alpha my ass
<@snek-sensei> >wa my ass
<%topkek_2000> [Wolfram] Myr (megayear) = 1 Myr | 1000 kyr (kiloyears) | 1 million years | 999.3 millennia | 3.154×10^13 seconds
<+woodcat> that's phat
<@snek-sensei> dang i'm a lot of years
<@Rothen> snek-sensei's ass stretches for eons.
<+woodcat> it's almost bigger than your mum's |
#309679* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<QuanSai> Anyone? Installing 'pkg' on Solaris 10?
<doubletwist> Easily googled
<QuanSai> Fuck you.
<QuanSai> I googled it.
<QuanSai> What kind of wise-ass answer is that?
<QuanSai> Why would I be here if I didn't already search?
<QuanSai> It's much simpler to Google something than it is to get help here, you dimwit.
<QuanSai> Go fuck yourself. Seriously.
<QuanSai> Anyone with some sense care to answer?
<phobos_anomaly> QuanSai: It took me all of 4 seconds on google to turn up a link.
<QuanSai> Fuck off.
<QuanSai> You guys are assholes.
QuanSai has left this channel.
<phobos_anomaly> lol
<doubletwist> And I'm one of the nice ones :)
<lblume> Are you guys trying to set some sort of new world record?
<lblume> That was fast. |
#295114* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<tc> I just had a brilliant idea
<tc> terrorist offsetting
<tc> it's okay to bomb things as long as you pay another cell to not bomb things
<Calamarain> That is deeply wrong, but wonderful
<mark> somebody grab a "Sustainable Terrorism" domain name! |
#222662* (?/44) ⚐Flag
<--| Gigacore has joined #wordpress
<--| Gigacore is now known as nerd|nerd
<--| nerd|nerd has left #wordpress
<therks> wow, that was odd
<therks> it was like he came in here to change his clothes and then left |
#307268* (?/44) ⚐Flag
< Javacat> so somebody posted pictures on facebook of them at a llama farm with their children
< Javacat> and the first thing i thought was "oh cool, he went to look at unicorns"
< Javacat> tot srs
< Javacat> took like 30 seconds to realise they were llamas
< Javacat> and then another 10 to remember unicorns dont exist
< Javacat> in england |
#311676* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<whitequark> also does everyone here know how the USB PD devices determine which one is the charger and which one gets charged?
<whitequark> i usually put it as "the same way hermaphroditic snails mate" because it's a perfect analogy
<whitequark> but not a very good user interface
<whitequark> (dual-role devices, that is)
<marcan> I'll fall back to what my switch does with my old Anker battery pack
<marcan> that is: if you power on the Anker first, it charges the switch
<marcan> until the switch is charged, then it reverses and the switch starts charging the anker
<marcan> hilarity ensues |
#311677* (?/20) ⚐Flag
Akko Taco: i love one brain cell every time i come here
lesbianacereza: love
lesbianacereza: good you love and cherish that one brain cell kiti im so proud of you
Akko Taco: GOD
Akko Taco: DAMMIT
Akko Taco: I HATE BEING A BLIND FUCK AND TYPING WRONG AND BEING AN ABSOLUTE DUMBASS
Akko Taco: ANYWAYS TAKE IT THAT MEANT TO SAY LOVE
Akko Taco: LETS JUST
Akko Taco: SAY THAT |
#310577* (?/3) ⚐Flag
<zyradyl> okay so I finally got Hughes, which despite the cap has a lot of cool features
<asaph> alright?
<zyradyl> HughesNet has a native dual stack setup for ipv6, through prefix delegation, and the router gets a /61
<zyradyl> I've never fucked with prefix delegation before, and everything i find on it says its a pain in the ass the first time you do it
<zyradyl> But I have decided I want all four available ipv6 subnets so I need to create some virt interfaces
<cjk> jesus christ why
<zyradyl> I plan to give every carpet fiber wifi. I am the true intended end user of IPv6. |
#310614* (?/2) ⚐Flag
<Nate_LapT> abzman: get your water heater fixed or at least lined up to be fixed?
<myself> can't have little waterheaters running around
<Dark-Fx> spay or neuter your water heaters!
<Nate_LapT> heh
<Nate_LapT> only if they grow up to be tankless
<myself> tankless bastards, don't appreciate what their forebears went through!
<Dark-Fx> channel locks and the forebears |
#303234* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<Capn_Refsmmat> but I'll shut up and let her tell you about it if she wants to
<AzurePhoenix> but she's DEAD
<Capn_Refsmmat> not yet
<Capn_Refsmmat> she's been idle for nearly three days, she may come back yet
<AzurePhoenix> soon, actually, based on what i know of jewish biologyComment: #sfn
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#306515* (?/81) ⚐Flag
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#310084* (?/39) ⚐Flag
<pronto> i like this nifty feature with deskphones
<pronto> when they start making sounds, you just look at it till it stops making sounds |
#307365* (?/39) ⚐Flag
Kevin: looking like I might get to move into a pretty boss living arrangement up there too
Josh: You're moving into an exec's office?
Kevin: lol
Kevin: no, coed town house.
Josh: Are they cute?
Kevin: heh, one is, though hopefully things won't go that way, crush on roommate could get very awkward
Josh: Yeah, no dating roommates.
Josh: Just casual hookups and drunken necking when appropriate.
Kevin: you cad
Josh: I do, but only Solidworks.
Kevin: /faceplant
Josh: Sounds like you need to exfoliate.
Josh: I AM UNSTOPPABLE
Kevin: and incorrigable
Josh: Whatever, I use cardboard all the time.
Kevin: ow ow ow |