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#305324 (495/655) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pomax> 20 years from now, someone is going to have the radical idea to give users access to the underlying OS, rather than to the browser API, and he will be heralded a revolutionary.
<Pomax> All manner of programming languages will pop up that work outside "the browser", giving access to "offline" applications, storing files in "user space", even perhaps running in something called "kernel mode".
<Pomax> It'll be a brave new world.
<Mirell> It's scary that's believable. |
#99640 (495/773) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fahl> I just clicked one those banner ads that offer to scan your computer and remove any porn you don't know about.
<Fahl> I turned on my virus/spyware blocker and off I went.
<IonCannon> And?
<Fahl> It completely missed my porn folder.
<Fahl> And my other 6 porn folders. |
#214528 (494/670) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mike: i was looking at computer parts late at night last semester at school.
Mike: my friend (whos bed was over my desk) leans down, looks at the screen, then looks at me and says
Mike: "you know lerch, normal people look at porn" |
#210468 (494/716) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&fuqinfruit> Huggie: My mother cleans her vibrators in the Dishwasher and she doesnt think i know. Its disgusting and i hate it.
<&fuqinfruit> oops wrong chan |
#61602 (494/642) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Apophis> I think I need to trim my toenails.
<Apophis> either that or I'm a special kind of idiot
<Apophis> or both
<Apophis> my hand is bleeding from an 'unfortunate sock putting-on injury' |
#300122 (493/669) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Slashy> Kanye West has a new show coming out
<Slashy> No time slot, it just interrupts other shows |
#49737 (493/679) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yrederemnul> heh, I just noticed
<Yrederemnul> M T W T F S S
<Yrederemnul> there's a 'what the fuck' in the middle of the week |
#48739 (493/707) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
<VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
<VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
<VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
<MaXilla> hahaha
<MaXilla> NICE
<VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" |
#81 (493/684) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shaft`> I bought it through a special deal at work
<Guilty> The deal where you put what you can under your jacket? |
#299789 (492/670) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< yaoi_prophet> haha this guy sitting next to me is playing touhou in class
< PoopOnaShoe> this nerd next to me is chatting on irc or something
< Rabbi-Work> these two guys next to me keep looking at each other's screens |
#150314 (491/667) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sam> Coding in C is like sending a 3 year old to do groceries. You gotta tell them exactly what you want or you'll end up with a cupboard full of pop tarts and pancake mix. |
#54442 (491/651) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dread> UR R R0nG j00 n3wbz! T4ht iz n0t m4thz, t4ht r t3h SUXX0Rz!1!! ZOMG URL4ME GET4LI3FLRN2PlYkTHXBYE1!1!
<Dread> ouch
<Dread> I think I sprained my brain trying to read that
<ct> you are wrong you new users of this system. That of which you speak is not related to mathematics, rather, it is something quite unacceptable. I swear to the Lord above that you are substandard in your abilities. Please, find a hobby which will distract you as you learn its intricacies. Thank you for your time and consideration, I bid you adieu.
<ct> translation is just one of the services I provide |
#118819 (490/704) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<averagjoe> Yup, that's the proverbial spewing-coffee-on-the-monitor
<LCkitten> Which proverb is that from?
<dianagram> I believe its from Starbucks 4:95
<JustWhoIAm> Is that from the "Book of Christ and Latte Day Saints"? |
#57129 (490/670) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* qual makes a mental note to look behind couches more often
<Ice_> what did you find?
<qual> just found a full system behind me couch, amd athlon 2400+
<qual> with 2 x 120 gb hd's in there
<qual> and a sb 5.1 soundcard |
#300297 (488/586) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Asaph> Yo, Pry?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Sup?
<Asaph> You're in geology right?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Ya.
<Asaph> What's the law of original horizontality?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Rocks do it in the missionary position.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Err, all sedimentary rock forms horizontally, any distortion in that must have taken time to form.
<Asaph> Thanks...What was that about missionary position?
<Pryo[Geo110]> I memorize all my rules/laws as sexual positions. Then whenever i get laid, it's like i'm studying. |
#215584 (488/846) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<blu> so today i went outside because we had new stairs and etc, long story
<blu> so i go outside theres this girl on the street
<blu> so i go see her and tell her "i got molested by a mango when i was young what should i do"
<blu> SO NOW SHE PULLS A BRICK OUT OF HER PURSE
<blu> i start running
<blu> SHE FUCKING THREW IT AT ME
<blu> and now she just saw where i live
<@MokN> good luck with that
<blu> ok so i just went to give her the brick
<blu> she went
<blu> "WHAT THE FUCK ITS YOU AGAIN"
<blu> i said "hi here's your brick" |
#162955 (488/660) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Faustus> The combination of a barbiturate induction agent and a nondepolarizing paralytic agent is used in thousands of anaesthetics every day. Supporters of the death penalty argue that unless anesthesiologists have been wrong for the last 40 years, the use of pentothal and pancuronium is safe and effective
<@Faustus> how the fuck is lethal injection safe? |
#138027 (488/748) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ganon: That magnet in the finger idea sounded really awesome, minus the idea of getting some sort of poisoning from the rare-earth metals
Gayo: oh oh dude
Gayo: What if you were a woman and you had MAGNETIC BREAST IMPLANTS.
Katt: I guess that would make you really attractive
Ganon: ... |
#53347 (488/596) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Phaze: When I was signing the paper for my driving permit
Phaze: I couldn't remember whether " or ' was feet
Phaze: So uh
Phaze: I'm 6 inches tall now
Phaze: :( |
#27801 (488/636) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jwz> I met a guy who was a freshman at berkeley who had just arrived from india, and he said, "I can't take the beggars here seriously. they have legs." |
#2558 (488/620) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is |
#56782 (487/593) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
boudi24: what do u use to protect ur computer from all kinds of viruses and adwares and spywares and pop ups...
boudi24: ?
metsoc30: common sense mostly
boudi24: what's that ?
boudi24: is it a program ? |
#73744 (486/660) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tony-UH> today in a lecture... i was sitting in front of these 2 guys who were chatting quite loudly
<Tony-UH> they went on for a while
<Tony-UH> i was gonna turn to them and tell them to stfu
<Tony-UH> but then i heard another guy trying to say something to them
<Tony-UH> it was "excuse me guys, can you stop please, i'm trying to sleep here" |
#60331 (486/658) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<brisbane> I got a knock on my door and as i was expecting a girlfriend I was naked, I opened it and it was two Jehova Witnessees. Needless to say they didnt stay long and never came back. |
#51625 (486/624) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell |
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