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#303974* (?/48) ⚐Flag
<BlueZek> I was at a party once and a girl spit in my face so I threw my highball glass full of liquor at her feet, where it exploded. I then tried to fight everyone there but then left and went back upstairs...to my apartment.
<Zrcn_X> BlueZek are you like Mr.Rogers from hell or something
<Zrcn_X> Always with the fucking stories
#307668* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<@Mr_Shifty> I like my women like I like my gravy.
<@reimero> On my meat
#308145* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<OldManRiver> My motto is if it's alive have sex with it, if it's dead have sex with it then eat it
<Honey> excuse me?
<OldManRiver> Honey, not people, I'm not I sicko
<Crispy_> ...
#305598* (?/51) ⚐Flag
< matty> Anathema, oh.. shes a nurse. well you cant beat medical professinals. You should buy her a latex outfit btw.
<@Anathema> she already has one
<@Anathema> she bought it herself
< matty> Anathema, hurrr
<@KikiJiki> Anathema, I've seen that uniform almost every day of my life on my mother, needless to say it never had any allure
< matty> you fail sir!
<@Anathema> KikiJiki: lol
<@KikiJiki> NOT HTE LATEX ONE
<@KikiJiki> YOU FAGGOTS
<@Anathema> KikiJiki: you should have specified
<@KikiJiki> I WAS TYPING
<@KikiJiki> FUCK
#301964* (?/51) ⚐Flag
Carlsagan43: go to notepad
Carlsagan43: put this text in there:
Carlsagan43: %0|%0
Carlsagan43: save file as test.bat
cockgoblin: stop hacking me
Carlsagan43: double click file
Carlsagan43: you really think 5 bytes is going to hack your computer?
cockgoblin: yes
cockgoblin: keeps running
cockgoblin: oh no, cmd.exe esploded
Carlsagan43: what?
Carlsagan43: you still there?
Carlsagan43: cg there?
cockgoblin left the room.
cockgoblin [cockgoblin@cs.rkive.org/FRANKLIN] entered the room.
Carlsagan43: hey
Carlsagan43: what happened?
cockgoblin: hey, remind me to save everything before I run any of your shit in the future, I just gotta make up the last two hours of work on a midterm, peace
cockgoblin left the room.
#299759* (?/29) ⚐Flag
<AstralFire> We have A-10s and F-16s
<AstralFire> Why the hell did we need F-22s. o.o
<AstralFire> It's an A fucking 10
<Fax> because f22s are AWESOME
<AstralFire> That's like A-1
<AstralFire> Times ten
<Fax> It's like an A10 MADE OUT OF TANKS
<Arang> if by "awesome" you mean "a gross turkey designed to combat an enemy that will never materialize" then yeah, totally
<Fax> I'm talking "awesome" like looking at a magazine of supermodels.
<Fax> I'll never have one, and if I did I'd never use it
<Fax> but it's pretty.
<AstralFire> Yeah, the F-22 was pretty much the result of Air Force jockeys fapping into blueprints
Comment: irc.gamesurge.net #giantitp
#299956* (?/29) ⚐Flag
Clifford: I cna't control whether or not my cat wants to attack your face
lurkerjp: but you can control spelling can't correctly
Clifford: I cna't
#311542* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<Cain> ..what's wrong with me that I make things love me so easily? why am I so nice and friendly yet so empty inside and wishing I wasn't real.. that I was a illusion, some digital thing?
<solitary_blue> i get that sometimes too
<solitary_blue> then i just fart and i feel better
#308178* (?/29) ⚐Flag
Rebecca: or mayb we can crash at my place and get pizza or somethin first. whatez u guys wanna do
Rebecca: havent spoken to sharon so idk what she wants to do
Rebecca: not online alllnight
John: Whatever works.  Maybe afterwards we can make out.
John: *have sex
John: *play video games
Rebecca: -_-
John: (Typo)
Rebecca: yea...sure
Rebecca: :p
#306203* (?/29) ⚐Flag
<stalagmatite> NoobSauce: lack of coffee makes me angry
<NoobSauce> stalagmatite: that's just the coffee talking
Comment: #xkcd on foonetic
#302489* (?/17) ⚐Flag
You: 14 F HONG KONG
You: LOOKING FOR MONEY
You: IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
Stranger: ah, fuck
Stranger: i laughed jagermeister all over my keyboard
#302864* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<matju> btw, why is it still called c++0x ?
<systemfault> That's just a name... it doesn't matter.
<matju> ah ok, it's like Windows 94 ?
Comment: ##c++
#302823* (?/16) ⚐Flag
Lindsay: she lives in Canada, and has no clue where Pennsylvania is...
Allen: I tell anyone else in the world "Pennsylvania" and they instantly know where it's at
Allen: and come on, Pennsylvania! The Declaration of Independence... the other stuff!
#302744* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<Bluebie> Urgh, the guy with parkinsons next door has wandered in to the yard again
<Kaiser> What...
<Bluebie> very very slowly..
<Kaiser> Did someone leave him on vibrate?
#295348* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<DeeebianOS> It's Debian on an Eee..
<DeeebianOS> It's not based on Debian; it IS Debian.
<DeeebianOS> And that's why I like it.
<DeeebianOS> I didn't even have to use a custom installer.
<DeeebianOS> I just installed it normally.
<DeeebianOS> Because I'm so pro.
<krazykit> and yet you can't use google to find the cheapest 64gb ssd
#311178* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<@snk> there are many knowledgeable nerds on freenode. their favorite activity is informing others of their knowledge against those other's will.
#311191* (?/16) ⚐Flag
Em3rgency: so thats why i need rocky, in case you were wondering
Em3rgency: also, how would you know its his work phone?
Daniel: oh, okay
Daniel: he called me on it a while back
Daniel: told me it was his work phone
Em3rgency: huh, so you actually had his number
Em3rgency: thats like... real life friend level of intimacy
Em3rgency: I am surprised
Daniel: to be fair
Daniel: it wasnt up to me
Daniel: zodiac found a fucking website with my number on it
Em3rgency: lmao
Em3rgency: of course he did...
Em3rgency: god damn zodiac
Em3rgency: if he put in half the effort in his uni studies
Em3rgency: as he does in being creepy
Em3rgency: he would've gotten a friggin PhD
Daniel: haha
Em3rgency: instead of you know... dropping out
Comment: Zodiac has a portfolio on everyone...
#311478* (?/16) ⚐Flag
Alan: people are seriously leaving after only being here 2 hours? lol
Matthew: 2 hours? I came it at 7:40 :-P
Alan: You are not normal for engineering lol
Matthew: *sigh* I'm not normal for a lot of things.
#311545* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<Jerome> You been up to much?
<TravelerInRedAndGreen> Nah, Christmas shopping mostly lately.  About to climb on the roof.
<TravelerInRedAndGreen> Glad it doesnt get icey here.
<Jerome> What is it with Americans and climbing on roofs at Christmas
* MsDrWatson is on TravelerInRedAndGreen's roof right now
<MsDrWatson> peeing down the chimney for blackmail material
<MsDrWatson> ...oh god. PEERING
<MsDrWatson> PEERING, I SAY
<Waterjuffer > you're much less likely to fall that way
#311558* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<Mr_X> if anyone here has a android please pm me ok?
<blkshp> Data is offline at the moment
<Menzador> Shoot, I turned off the Human-Cyborg Relations module on my C-3PO to have it serviced by my local Tatooine Electronics dealer...
Comment: ##chat on irc.freenode.net ( Freenode )
#301689* (?/60) ⚐Flag
<Harlequin> k
<Harlequin> party time
<Harlequin> bye guys
* Harlequin is now known as Partyquin
<Partyquin> hm
<Partyquin> no
* Partyquin is now known as Drunkequin
<Drunkequin> no
<Drunkequin> hm
* Drunkequin is now known as Socialequin
<Verne> how about signing off
#305503* (?/57) ⚐Flag
Rexisfed entered the room.
Rexisfed: Hey ladies
Rexisfed: Did anybody order a pizza... with extra sausage?
this1neguy: nope
solrac: >ladies
simpsonfreak17: I think it was ChanServ
Rexisfed left the room
#306643* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<yx> I hate Wikipedia.
<yx> I'm reading about cuts of beef now.
<yx> Why, you ask?
<yx> I have no [bleep]ing idea.
<Cathalain> You just want to get to the meat of the matter.  :P
<yx> I'm going to -shank- you if you make another joke like that.
<Cathalain> Oh, you just -cut- me, yx.
<Cathalain> I've just been roasted over the coals.  Yes, I have.  :/
<Dagorath> Must..resist...
<Cathalain> You know you wanna.
<Dagorath> If I do, I'll just be -butchering- the subject.
<yx> Dag: I speak for us all when I say.. -well done-!
<Cathalain> I thought the joke was of -medium- quality.
<Cathalain> Which is a -rare- thing coming from Dagorath.
<yx> Cath, seriously.  Stop -grilling- the poor bastard.
<yx> After all, you're talking to one of Her Majesty's Knights.
<yx> Wait for it...
<yx> Sir Loin.
<Cathalain> I'm not busting his -chops-, yx.
<Dagorath> Let's -steak- to the topic at hand.
<Cathalain> Anything else to add beef-fore we close this topic?
<Dagorath> I was just letting it -stew-.
<Dagorath> Can none -cure- us? :x
<yx> I've tried to, but you keep sneaking up on my -flank- with another pun.
<yx> Quit going -round- on me, and we'll put this one to bed.
<yx> I've been trying to -chuck- it out the window for a few minutes, now.
<yx> But the topic sorta sticks to your -ribs-.
<Cathalain> Everyone's really -ham-ming it up today.
<yx> This was a pretty -prime- topic, you must admit.
<Cathalain> I think it's been driven into the -ground-, though.
<Dagorath> I think it's one that won't be easily -culled- from our memories.
<Cathalain> Definitely -smoked- out.
<yx> We should -steer- clear of these sorts of things, going forward.
<Dagorath> Hey, we're just -chewing the fat-.
#308425* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Slie> 21:00:28 * Lion totally fapped to straight porn this morning
<Slie> so you fapped to a guy having sex
<Slie> faggot
#307707* (?/32) ⚐Flag
Vespucci: God... I think I've been seeing this girl long enough that I'm supposed to get her flowers on V-Day.
Vespucci: I spend too much time thinking about this girl.
Vespucci: I don't get anything done now, between spending time with her, texting her, looking for deals on flowers for her, explaining my feelings to her.  This is turning into bullshit.
Vespucci: Fook man... I heard this radio add for a dozen roses (dunno what color, don't give a shit) for $20.  Can't find that florist though.
Vespucci: Fuck it.  I'm splitting the difference with some $10 flowers from the grocery store on the 7th.
Vespucci: That's "valentine's day" enough for me.
Vespucci: Granted... come steak and blow job day I'm lucky to net a hamburger and a 30 second tug...
Orca: Vespucci:  It must be love
Orca: you should marry her and have some kids
Vespucci: Maybe I'm better off just keeping chicks chained up in the basement.
Vespucci: Less work.
Vespucci: Well, at least less emotional investment.
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