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#296943* (?/36) ⚐Flag Nathan: I have GOT to stop dreaming
Ren: Mee too. Im' runningout of pillows.
Nathan: No dude
Nathan: remember the submarine dream i told you about?
Ren: Think so
Nathan: where we lost the china war because we accidently made all the subs out of styrofoam and they couldn't go under the water, and then to counteract that we made new subs out of lead, but they couldn't float above the water and thousands of people lost their lives because the styrofoam subs couldn't save the people in the lead subs?
Nathan: well last night
Ren: Oh, Yeah
Nathan: I had a dream that i really wanted icecream. so me and candice went to this store that had every flavor of icecream known to man
Nathan: well
Nathan: I had also blown off my classes for that day to go get the icecream
Nathan: but when we got there they were sold out of everything that wasn't green, and the only stuff that was green was the stuff that had one of the flavors as being sour apple
Nathan: well
Nathan: i went to the back of the store to check the freezers, and when i opened one of the freezers, my german teacher walked out
Ren: Oh shit
Ren: I know where this is going
Nathan: only she was tiny. normally she comes up to my chin but in the dream she was like 3 feet tall
Nathan: and she started beating me with one of those 1 gallon things of icecream
Ren: ...Haahaha
Ren: Sorry bro
Nathan: except it was chocolate ice cream, which was what i had driven all the way out there to get
Ren: Thats a funny mental picture
Nathan: and I was so upset because she was wasting all the chocolate icecream
Nathan: and then i bought a sour apple cone, and then i woke up >.>
Ren: ...
Ren: Yeah you seriously need to stop |
#299910* (?/36) ⚐Flag < koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> ..... not what I meant.Comment: #laserchat irc.ecnet.org
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#279199* (?/36) ⚐Flag ekarddas: Obama proposed a tax for people making over 250,000 right?
ekarddas: So when he was elected
ekarddas: my dad was like
ekarddas: "shit, we coulda bought a new car"
awr00tbeer: so you could say a black guy jacked your car eh? |
#306100* (?/36) ⚐Flag <Ikhnaton> I was shown how big a nerd I am today
<Ikhnaton> today in class the teacher was talking
<Ikhnaton> she then stopped for a moment and surprisingly there were no other sounds
<Ikhnaton> and, of course, I think that i accidently hit the mute-button on my mouse ... |
#311562* (?/25) ⚐Flag <cheapie> My left rear tire decided it didn't want to be a tire any more.
<Sunberry> Oh dear. What does it identify as now?
<cheapie> Random rubber bits on the road, I think.
<Sunberry> I hope you've decided to respect its choice and remove it from your car |
#311553* (?/23) ⚐Flag <soakingbook> i masturbated in such a way that my orgasm was perfectly timed with the new year.
<umbrifex> coming in with the new year
<soakingbook> yes. |
#309722* (?/23) ⚐Flag <vert> my boss is listening to enya
<vert> not sure whether this is a good time to negotiate |
#308356* (?/23) ⚐Flag <Lord> What are you guys up to
<Broast> Fucking a cantaloupe, you?
<Lord> fucking a watermelon
<Stars> sounds like fun
<Lord> It is but makes it hard to type
<Broast> Smells better than pussy too and you can slap it and it won't press charges.
<Lord> plus you have a snack afterwards |
#307361* (?/58) ⚐Flag <MaltheJ> So I'm gonna make a TV-program for children that crosses breakfast and computing...
<MaltheJ> basically it's gonna be about this guy who rides in a buss with talking, omnipoten breakfast serial... It's called the universal serial buss |
#305853* (?/58) ⚐Flag <yaMatt> I need to learn vim properly
<ShaneM> Fuck that
<ShaneM> Life is too short |
#307065* (?/39) ⚐Flag <+CoJaBo> Anyone will become fanatical about their rights if given broadband and a Tumblr account. |
#307754* (?/39) ⚐Flag <SiberGeek> Pinako, teach me the ways of the internets.
<cumdumpster> the internet is a puddle
* smuckerz looks at cumdumpster
* Moon_Doggy splashes in the puddle
<cumdumpster> you can look into the puddle
<cumdumpster> and understand the puddle as a whole
<cumdumpster> but you can never pick up the puddle as a whole
<cumdumpster> only bits a pieces
<cumdumpster> you slip your hands in
<cumdumpster> and pull some of the puddle out
<cumdumpster> but most of it runs between the cracks of ur fingers
<cumdumpster> and then you drink it
<cumdumpster> and get diareha
<cumdumpster> and shit for three days solid
<cumdumpster> and then come back for more
<Moon_Doggy> thats deep yo
<cumdumpster> so is the puddle
<cumdumpster> you never know its true depth
<cumdumpster> as soon as you think you hit bottom it goes deeper
<Pinako> so, the internet is a cumdumpster.
<cumdumpster> EXACTLY
<Pinako> hi there, folks.
<cumdumpster> a cumdumpster that gives you taco shits |
#307109* (?/39) ⚐Flag <Handofpwn> what part of "I dont care about starving children" does hulu not understand |
#305696* (?/42) ⚐Flag <yaMatt> all the buzz on twitter seems to be about the ipad 2
<Torikun_> Does it give bj's yet?
<yaMatt> no, now it is dual core
<andreas_> and thinner
<andreas_> just like steve jobs
<yaMatt> andreas_, that is very bad
<yaMatt> but very funny |
#307384* (?/42) ⚐Flag <@birryree> be right back, frying food.
<@khanable> FOOD FRIER
<@birryree> and it's good
<@birryree> oh I fry in a wok
<@khanable> wait
<@khanable> a wok is a thing
<@birryree> yes lol
<@khanable> SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
<@khanable> master wok is a fucking THING and not a PERSON?
<@khanable> MY MIND JUST EXPLODED
<@birryree> lol
<@khanable> fucking love getting food from master wok
<@khanable> but totally blown away that it's a thing
<@khanable> lol
<@khanable> so what is exactly
<@khanable> a pan or something?
<@birryree> wait, are you kidding?
<@birryree> i thought you were just joking, khanable
<@khanable> ..no
<@khanable> we have a master wok food place in my mall
<@khanable> always thought master wok was some guy |
#243563* (?/42) ⚐Flag .:lax:. hi, i need some help and i was wondering if you can you help
.:Rebel_n00b:. maybe
.:Rebel_n00b:. what do you need?
.:lax:. well, it's sort of an emergency
.:Rebel_n00b:. and?
.:lax:. well....
.:lax:. don't ask why
.:lax:. but i was sort of having personal time with my printer and my dick got stuck, how do i remove it without chopping it off or something?Comment: rizon.net
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#303111* (?/27) ⚐Flag wist: "service battery"
wist: dammit apple.
stangl: service battery is when apple employees attack you at the genius bar. |
#296035* (?/26) ⚐Flag Mynameiswuzzy: *dosent get relevance*
Mynameiswuzzy: *cowers from whatever matt will throw at me*
Greyejoy: Does it matter what I throw?
Greyejoy: That'll end up going over your head too. |
#295283* (?/26) ⚐Flag ***Dembraizh ?? Music: (Playing) ?? Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams ?? 00:04/04:20 ??
CorbinFox: i love how there are question marks throughout the now playing thing dem just posted
CorbinFox: its like it isnt sure if its actually listening to music or not
CorbinFox: understandable considering its playing green day |
#306640* (?/26) ⚐Flag <__l__> There's a channel for searching work? I'm about to be fired from mine.
<@CptSulu> looking for work on IRC is probably not the best way to find it. |
#308451* (?/26) ⚐Flag edmund> or, use xmonad
edmund> it's like having sex with a sexy octopus |
#247715* (?/46) ⚐Flag mkie: I think your tab width is set to "Fibonacci sequence" |
#236936* (?/45) ⚐Flag <tweek_> is there a way to completely trash a revision in svn? 'whoops, I screwed up, please disregard absolutely everything and go back to earlier, and forget it ever happened, forever'
<tomalak> alas, only CVS has built-in rollback support (<3 CVS) but you can hack it in SVN
<tweek_> I think half of the reason I wasn't finding anything was, I was reading the manual
<tweek_> and googling for 'svn fucking delete' |
#304536* (?/45) ⚐Flag <[GT]Gohan> i wonder how many relationships will be destroyed by call of duty this weekend |
#306215* (?/45) ⚐Flag <OldGuy`> your all idiots
<dumbrat> "you're" |