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#294507* (?/33) ⚐Flag
[ HM ] the odds of dying from HIV are low if you use condoms or never get laid :(
[ Clone ] : (
[ ralish ] Are they even lower if you never get laid AND use condoms? :P
[ ralish ] twice the protection!
[ HM ] depends who's condoms you're using
[ ralish ] touché |
#302853* (?/22) ⚐Flag
< AlexExtreme> I nearly ran over a chav earlier. Does that make me a bad driver?
< froggey> no. it makes you an upstanding citizen
< AlexExtreme> good |
#301611* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<grawity> I'm back to Windows after I found out that laptop HDDs are incompatible with spilled tea. |
#306816* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<i> Dude posting a link to a list of Star Wars droid models
<lizardkid> These are not the droids i was looking for. I wanted a list of GOOGLE DROIDS GAARH INTERNET |
#307011* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<Oot> ryll is a BIG goffic
<ryll> haha
<ryll> I'd like to clarify, not a fat goth ;P
<Oot> Big as in tall yup
<Valtieri> He's a proper giant innit.
<ryll> I have the superpowers of: hitting my head on doorframes! failing to fit into airline seats! having trouble buying trousers! |
#300580* (?/85) ⚐Flag
<FuzzyPlushroom> So!
<FuzzyPlushroom> Today's explanation of why Apple is a software company tied to useless, shitty hardware.
<FuzzyPlushroom> I'm cleaning things off of a G4 tower with Tiger for a friend of a friend rather than reformatting, 'cos I don't have the OS X discs and it's almost a new install.
<FuzzyPlushroom> The only USB keyboards I have are from Apple - a LiMac 'board and a full-size USB keyboard similar to the one that probably came with the G4
<FuzzyPlushroom> Both keyboards have ridiculously short cords - the iMac 'board's is about three feet with the plug included and a scoop of generosity; the newer 'board's is even shorter
<FuzzyPlushroom> I have it set up behind my desk because it's the easiest way to connect the monitor (a giant CRT) and power cables
<FuzzyPlushroom> So I said, okay, I'll just daisy-chain the keyboards. They have USB hubs built in.
<FuzzyPlushroom> I plug the second keyboard in and Tiger yells at me, telling me that TWO KEYBOARDS are drawing TOO MUCH POWER from a USB PORT.
<FuzzyPlushroom> Now, I'm typing this on a Dell laptop. I know about USB fucknuttery. This is a new level of uselessness.
<FuzzyPlushroom> Cables that can't reach under a desk combined with woefully inadequate USB ports - both in quality and in number; there are only two - on a once-high-end computer?
<FuzzyPlushroom> Fuck you, Apple. Fuck you with a rake.
<FuzzyPlushroom> And fuck your one-button mice, too, while I'm at it. But thanks for making your OS good enough to recognize a real mouse. That's cool. |
#306042* (?/61) ⚐Flag
<Homicide> What did the injured cats say to each other?
<Homicide> Me-ouch
<Homicide> There was a brief moment of silence, in which the sheer shittiness of the joke settled in. No-one in the room could believe a jest that abhorrent could be spawned on our fair earth. It felt as if claws of stupidity were tearing at my mind.
<Homicide> Suddenly, the girl behind me committed suicide on the spot. Full scale riots broke out over the tri-state area, with murders, looting, and rape. Cries of "How could that punchline be so horrible? What god would allow this?" could be heard as people lept from rooftops. The Me-owch riots had begun.
<Homicide> The area had to be carpet-bombed by the Air force in order to quell the riots and make sure no traces of the horrid humor escaped the infected area. The entire state of New York was quarantined, and everything we ever held dear was either bombed or destroyed by the insipid setup and punchline.
<Homicide> A little girl next to me said she believed things couldn't possibly get worse. When her brother heard the joke, he ate their mother, burned down their house and killed himself. |
#307598* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<%[ill]will> And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussy?
<@LadyNikon> wth?
<@LadyNikon> oh sorry forgot what channel I was in.. carry on?Comment: #2600
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#303984* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<RuneCaster> Wait what
<RuneCaster> Hardee’s Loaded Biscuit and Gravy with Large Hash Rounds
<RuneCaster> 1,530 calories
<RuneCaster> 110 g fat (26 g saturated)
<RuneCaster> Isn't that bordering on lethal somehow
<RuneCaster> and that's breakfast?
<RuneCaster> Holy shit
<Clipsy> hey, doctors have been telling us to eat 8 cups of lard per day for YEARS
<RuneCaster> COnsidering your health system thats unsurprising. Anything they can do to prolong your suffering that doesn't have a one time cure is $
<Clipsy> yeah they really need to legalize assisted suicide
<Clipsy> for fat people
<RuneCaster> You just need a small island, full of small to medium sized game. Where they are deposited with nothing except a sharp stick, a lighter and a bag of charcoal. They'll lose it fast enough.
<Clipsy> man
<Clipsy> add in some rum and I'll be on the first flight
<RuneCaster> haha
<RuneCaster> Alone on an island full of desperate fat chicks with low self esteem and alcohol. They'll be thin enough after a few weeks. Clever.
<Clipsy> I was thinking "alone on an island with alcohol", but yeah, that's a good point too |
#302988* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<dahrat> tell me about this....poop sir
<Rhinomeat> it was once a part of me
<Rhinomeat> now it is apart from me
<dahrat> do you accept this tragic situation as a portion of life?
<Rhinomeat> meh. shit happens |
#305926* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<bwright> I have a class called Cell, I have another class called Grid which has a private member std::vector<std::vector<Cell> > m_cells;
<bwright> However in construction I have Grid(u32 row, u32 col) : m_cells(row, std::vector<Cell>(col, Cell(RandomNumber()))) {}
<bwright> Is that going to do what I think it does?
<callum> If you expect it to disappear up it's own anus, then yes. |
#300694* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<DarkLegacy> Whoosh.
*** Asdolin quit (Client exited)
<DarkLegacy> Whoosh.
*** Rigel quit (Connection reset by peer)
<DarkLegacy> Whoooooosh.
<DarkLegacy> ....
<DarkLegacy> Damn it. :( |
#299957* (?/29) ⚐Flag
<Caramon> me and some friends play this game online, called runescape
<Caramon> one day, a few of us made new characters for playing pranks and messing with others minds
<Caramon> anyways, my character was a girl. i saw this other girl character leaving the bank, and she seemed like as good a target as any
<Caramon> so i approached her and said "hey baby, wanna play with my rune long sword?". figuring such a comment would be even more odd coming from a girl character
<Caramon> she said "thanks, but i have one of my own"
<Caramon> she also said "for the record, it looks more like a short sword"
<Caramon> :(
<Tyson> touche! |
#300515* (?/29) ⚐Flag
rhys_rhaven: Why the fuck don't they sell the Ranchero anymore? I can't find a cartruck now that the Tacoma has too big an engine.
shazagirl15: you need a ute with a cover zerotosixty.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/07range129jt6.jpg
rhys_rhaven: OMG!!
rhys_rhaven: I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT ?!
rhys_rhaven: do they sell them in america?!
shazagirl15: dont know. they are everywhere here
rhys_rhaven: ....
rhys_rhaven: i am fucking SAD now
shazagirl15: im pretty sure my next door neighbour has one
rhys_rhaven: That kinda pisses me off
shazagirl15: you guys can keep your hummers and we will have the holden ute
rhys_rhaven: :((
rhys_rhaven: Thanks for ruining my day with your nationalist superiority complex.
shazagirl15: no problem :-) feeling pretty smug right now
rhys_rhaven: Still a backwater of prisioners.
shazagirl15: at least we dont shoot each other
rhys_rhaven: Thats because you gave up all your freedoms ages ago. Wait till your government says they will keep power for 50 years and no more voting.
rhys_rhaven: what are you going to do? talk them out of office?
shazagirl15: we're Aussies. probably just get them smashed on a slab of bundy and wait for them to injure themselves. |
#304077* (?/81) ⚐Flag
<Nilore> So, this XBox Live player lives in a small town called Fort Gay.Then, Microsoft bans him for declaring that in his user profile, because it's offensive. >>; |
#306206* (?/64) ⚐Flag
<DragnFly> remember, you want D's on women and A's on your schoolwork, not the other way around! |
#307537* (?/57) ⚐Flag
JustTerrible 2:00 am
Oh god my dad barged in brandishing a menorah and proclaiming "I AM THE PERSON WHO KILLED YOUR LORD" |
#302667* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<poe> hi chanman
<chanman> :)
<poe> is it just me or is chanman creepy
<poe> that smiley says to me "i'm going to murder you and rape your firstborn."
<Appleseed> :) |
#311130* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<vorstyles> A guy in our office came in the other day with a tie on, and someone asked him if he had an interview. He stumbled on words and tried to say he wanted to class up that side of the office.
<vorstyles> After his extended lunch, he had the tie off
<vorstyles> So, someone asked why he lowered the bar so quickly
<vorstyles> He said the tie was giving him heart palpitations
<vorstyles> His wife must love how bad he is at lying |
#311518* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<Talgie> I don't buy iphones cause they always die as soon as a new one comes out
<ciara> ya instead you got a flip phone, the old bangers you can hear when you hang up on someon
<Talgie> Facts you know when its over
<ciara> i miss that, sometimes i wanna call you just so you can hang up on me |
#303038* (?/74) ⚐Flag
<@Anti-X> * |\
<@Anti-X> | |
<@Anti-X> * |/
<@Anti-X> ITS A MEGAMOTICON! |
#305754* (?/51) ⚐Flag
smeddy: just applied for an internship with google
smeddy: I'll let you all know when they shoot me down
poke`class: you should tell them to make an "I'm feeling moist' button |
#307573* (?/50) ⚐Flag
<@Banshee> I like my women like I like my retail stores
< Novice> Full of salesmen? |
#306747* (?/50) ⚐Flag
<lunaticfish> Ryan, you have a girlfriend with sixpack abs on your bed reading and you are downstairs on the computer why again?
<qaqa> We can't talk now, Ryan
<qaqa> Fish needs you to go fuck |
#301962* (?/50) ⚐Flag
<Javacat> {8ball should i buy beer?
* Kagome shakes the magic 8-ball for Javacat ... outlook not so good
<Javacat> !!
<Javacat> WRONG
<Javacat> {8ball should i buy beer?
* Kagome shakes the magic 8-ball for Javacat ... the answer is unclear
<Javacat> {8ball should i buy beer?
* Kagome shakes the magic 8-ball for Javacat ... no
<Javacat> ..
<tinkerlina> it's a sign
<Javacat> {8ball should i buy beer?
* Kagome shakes the magic 8-ball for Javacat ... why the hell are you asking me?
<Javacat> it lies
<Javacat> {8ball should i buy beer?
* Kagome shakes the magic 8-ball for Javacat ... outlook not so good
<Javacat> !!
<Javacat> awilcox: ask Kagome if I should buy beer!
<awilcox> {8ball should Javacat STFU
* Kagome shakes the magic 8-ball for awilcox ... yes
<Javacat> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Comment: ##socialites
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