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#310901* (?/6) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<runelind> systemd for lyphe
<phobos> runelind: Shouldn't that read "systemd for death"? as it will surely drive one to early grave from stress and aggravation. |
#310900* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Kasran: i'm the only rapper who composes his beats on the MOS SID chip
dianne: that... would certainly be an aesthetic
Kasran: suckers who bring 0xBEEF get 0xDEAD |
#310898* (?/5) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
(~OBattler) i thought of making money with youtube but
(~OBattler) not many people want to listen to daily putin worshipComment: irc.rol.im #RIS
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#310895* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<zx9p> we must remember that the bundesrepublik deutschland dodged a return to nazism only because adenauer prioritised anglo-american integration instead
<zx9p> whoops, wrong channel |
#310893* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
xxx:My younger brother called me a child demoversion;_;
yyy:What do you expect from a backup copy?Comment: siblings
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#310892* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* @CaptainJistuce feasts upon your souls!
<neoblaze> weird
<neoblaze> how do you do that exactly?
<@CaptainJistuce> Well, I stick a fork in your soul, I twirl it around a bit, I pull it up, and then I stick it in my mouth.
<@CaptainJistuce> Souls are a lot like spaghetti, just easier to spell. |
#310889* (?/7) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<MrGurns> Compiling what?!
<lateoclock> notes
<MrGurns> Do you mean composing?
<MrGurns> Oh, notes. Not music.
<MrGurns> It's been a long day.
<lateoclock> i'm also compiling pizza
<MrGurns> Mmm. Toppings.
<MrGurns> Almost as delicious as tasty, tasty functions that have a hint of global variable
<MrGurns> Marinated in obscure parameter lists.
<lateoclock> ooh
<MrGurns> I know right? It sounds Devine.
<lateoclock> delectable
<MrGurns> Just imagine the greasy database layer that tops the assembly sauce.
<lateoclock> ew |
#310888* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<qsuscs> > simple
<qsuscs> > SOAP
<krisfremen> hahaha
<krisfremen> no, I meant the API is simple
<krisfremen> but I see what you did there :P
<dx> soap means "Simple Object Access Protocol"
<qsuscs> dx: nah, not anymore
<qsuscs> because they noticed it's not actually simple
<krisfremen> more like.. SOrry Arse Protocol
<dx> that's a terrible acronym krisfremen
<krisfremen> eh... it was fun in my arse |
#310882* (?/13) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< awsm> \o/
< gamozo> |
< awsm> /\
< gamozo> that was my plan
<+bgates> Totally
<+bgates> /\
<+bgates> /\/\
< Sling> \/\/
< Sling> \/
< gamozo> god we are awesome |
#310880* (?/10) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<RikusW> I've soldered plenty of RoHS PC power supplies
<RikusW> I usually apply a bit of lead solder to get it to melt easier
<RikusW> but its a pita if the joint is connected to a large heatsink...
* RikusW prefers SnPb solder
* twnqx doesn't really care
* megal0maniac glues wires together
* Haohmaru twists wires together |
#310878* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* fuyunoyoru sobs
<@jrvc> hey fuyunoyoru
<@jrvc> what's up?
< fuyunoyoru> a porn star just started following me on twitter
<@jrvc> And that's a... bad thing?
< fuyunoyoru> nsfw https://i.imgur.com/Z1aMhl5.jpg
< fuyunoyoru> IM A CHEMIST!
< fuyunoyoru> she found me by the hashtag #latex
< fuyunoyoru> i made tweet about LaTeX the typesetting language |
#310877* (?/7) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<daniel> do i just start on the next form? or is there a protocol for etiquette
<daniel> for who gets what
<alan> So far there's no protocol... I don't recall what you and Riley did
<daniel> argue, mostly
<daniel> and smoke
<alan> Ok, I do recall what you and Riley did |
#310876* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
(On Slack)
John: oh, i just figured out the stars are bookmarks.
John: i was using them to tell people i liked their message
John: so now i've bookmarked the punchlines to a hundred jokes i don't remember |
#310875* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Kindari> "JAWS: The Javascript + AWS Stack – A monstrously scalable, server-free, web application boilerplate using bleeding-edge AWS services..."
<Kindari> "server-free" !?
<Kindari> wtf
<Kindari> thats not how this works
<Kindari> thats not how any of this works! |
#310874* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<opraaa> what is the capital of belgium
<jdorje> brussel
<stormscape> Trick question, Belgium doesn't exist.
<opraaa> stormscape is correct |
#310869* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<EikaForge> Atosen, we should get married so we won't be 25 and not married. (Not that this is a proposal.)
* Celti is over 25 and not married, so...
<Godwinson> I'm 30
<Godwinson> And not married
<Godwinson> And not employed
<Celti> Yes, but you're Godwinson
<Celti> You're so fat you're married to yourself
<Godwinson> I'm so fat, I'm in a polyamorous relationship with every human on Earth. Twice.
<Atosen> How romantic. |
#310868* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<SeanQ> "A Lear Jet crashed in the remote hills of South Dakota today. Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme could not be reached for comment."
<Elkman> I wonder what the fundies would say about that.
<Da_Raven> "Sheri Lewis and Lambchop were devastated by the news. The show business duo plan on starting a foundation in honor of this tragedy "Butt-Ugly-Tam-O'-Shanter Foundation". Give generously.
<StanXhiao> Uh, she dead.
<Da_Raven> And?
<StanXhiao> And that's all she wrote. Or, in this case, sock-puppeted.
<zompist> if shari lewis is dead, is lampchop dead too?
<StanXhiao> Get out the mint jelly, is all you can say, zomp.
<zompist> that's a neat trick to play on children, really. Name a cute tv character after food.
<zompist> "did you like that show? guess what's for dinner!"
<Da_Raven> Somewhere, there's just this bedraggled sock, badly in need of fabric softener, dragging itself around by its front paws looking for a new friend....
<StanXhiao> So the sock is dragging itself out of the dirt?
<zompist> the return of the living lambchop.
<spinn> dear GOD you people are evil.
<Da_Raven> "Haaaaand....Haaaaaand!
<StanXhiao> Lambchop's time had come.
<spinn> we need to make a doom game where the player is an angel, and he's killing ALL OF YOU. |
#310866* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Mr_Ben> The only species that will definitely survive Y2K are humans, cockroaches and Tupperware.
<wabewalkr> Tupperware is alive?
<Mr_Ben> No, but you can't destroy it!
<MisterQ> But the roles will be reversed! Tupperware will rule the world!
<zompist> of course tupperware is alive... it reproduces, doesn't it?
<Mr_Ben> You put two containers in the cupboard, two days later, it'll be twenty!
<Da_Raven> That's why you have to store the lids separately....
<sol-D> will they be forced to do menial jobs in the hope of survival?
<zompist> is there any attractive, cool-looking tupperware?
<zompist> i mean, theoretically, could such a thing happen?
<wabewalkr> Tupperware evolves into a beautiful species?
<Da_Raven> Oh, yeah, they have some sexy Tupperware, zomp.
<MisterQ> as well as tupperware whores
<sol-D> and tupperware hordes...
<wabewalkr> Yeah, the last tupperware party I went to I got laid.
<Da_Raven> That's Tupperware's trademark - the tw whores.
<MisterQ> Ghengis Can and his tupperware horde
<sol-D> i think my cabinets are a home for wayward tupperware...cripples, retards, the general filthy vagrants...
<Da_Raven> The ones with the melted in tomato sauce?
<sol-D> oh yeah, thats the kind
* sol-D shudders involuntarily
* zompist has never been to a tupperware party... he misses all these opportunities for casual, soulless sex. |
#310863* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Lore> Within twenty minutes of meeting her, she had worked her suicide attempt into the conversation.
<Kyol> hooboy
<Lore> And then, ten minutes later, I overheard her repeating the same story to Colette.
<tieboy> I've known far too many people like that
<Kyol> Were the two of you wearing your trendy cafeshops "I GIVE A SHIT" hoodies?
<tieboy> "Hi, I've been fondled by my Dad and tried to commit suicide. Your name is?"
<Lore> The best part is the story itself.
<Lore> Apparently her cat pushed the gun out of her mouth. That's not a metaphor.
<Lore> So it's great, because she can work it into any conversation involving pets.
<Kyol> You met Tori Amos? COOL!
<tieboy> was the cat buttered at the time?
<zompist> "yah, my cat's always getting in the way too."
<Lore> And, I might add, does.
<Lore> So the cat, she informs EVERYONE SHE MEETS, now gets whatever it wants.
<zompist> obviously it wants guns
<bob> guns and butter
<mdxi> cats are not known for their mastery of economic policy
<Lore> What I like is that if you assume that the one cat that saved her did so purposefully, it implies that the rest of her cats wanted her dead.
<raven> In the guest room, the other cats are giving him an ass-kicking. "Two years down the drain, you bastard! We'd finally gotten her to buy ammo!" |
#310862* (?/14) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Lore> What was the deal with Cabbage Patch Preemies, anyway?
<Lore> "We plucked them out of the womb three weeks early, just for you!"
<Lore> Cabbage Patch Cesarian Babies
<spinn> they were blobs of melted plastic that congealed on the factory floor
<Lore> "You can wipe them off yourself!"
<Elkman> It's better than "Cabbage Patch Thalidomide Babies".
<KemloCaesar> Cabbage Patch Afterbirth
<spinn> did they come complete with a sterile plastic box, rubber gloves, and a $30,000 hospital bill?
<Leth> One of my /very/ tactful relatives sent us one. My wife wanted to send it back with some kind of nasty "Thanks, fucker" note
<Samwise> Leth: gad, that's beyond tactless to evil.
<Leth> yeah, I thought it was a prank at first
<Lore> Is there some subtext I'm missing here?
<Leth> lore: yeah, my son was born 3 months early
<Lore> Good heavens. That's the twenty-second bull-ride of bad taste. |
#310859* (?/4) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Dodge> Why? WHY!? Why is my cable modem so fucking slow!
<spinn> germans are efficiently analyzing every packet
<spinn> it takes time
<Dodge> Efficient? I used to believe that. Then, I realized that Germans come in late, go home early, and take both American and German holidays off.
<spinn> then they goof off efficiently
<Machival> a lot probably even take the jewish holidays off, just to spite their ancestry.
<spinn> "ma, I'm going home for Yom Kippur" "I HAVE NO SON" |
#310858* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<spinn> blind date is /really/ tough to watch
<DML> spinn: Blind date?
<DML> Yah, that's a pain
<DML> But I'm drawn to it, somehow... I mean, I'm fascinated that people can give such a damn about other peoples' non-relationships
<DML> Idiots, looking at peoples' cheap facades and an announcer trying to cutely unveil them in the shallowest way possible
<DML> But, in reality, he's reinforcing the facade, and the bourgeois concept of the "date"... where would we know what a date should be like if it weren't for television?
<spinn> I like the pretty dresses the girls wear |
#310856* (?/5) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Lots42> I miss the vicodin
<CrazyClimber> if it misses you, it will come back.
<Lots42> Yay!
<Lots42> That's what the social workers said about my parents! |
#310853* (?/6) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Agent_Orange> would anyone here actually shop at a store called "A Bit of Whimsey," or would you just heave a rock through the window?
<Leth> *a* rock?
<maime> depends. what do they sell?
<raven> Whimsey, maime.
<Agent_Orange> girly CRAP.
<maime> so it's a leather shop?
<raven> They take their whimsey *very* *seriously*.
<Agent_Orange> jewelry, scented candles,etc., and I wouldn't be at all surprised if there were unicorns involved
<CrazyClimber> "Dammit! I need more than a BIT of whimsey today!"
<maime> Oh. If they had nice french soaps I would shop there...and pretty scarves.
* CrazyClimber opens a store across the street called A Buttload Of Whimsey
<maime> But well, we know about my shopping.
<Agent_Orange> "I thought it was BITTER whimsey. So you won't sell me the ball gag?" |
#310852* (?/5) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<maime> Spinn is sending a lovely photo around of my next husband.
<Da_Raven> Excellent. Stranger off the street or anyone we know?
<maime> I don't know. But he's just the kind of freak I imagine I'll get drunk and go to Vegas with.
<maime> Am I sharing too much?
<spinn> depends on how much he spanks you |
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